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Just something - a world of possibility
Just something
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
~Dr. Seuss

I got this from violetlovestars userinfo. Me likes.

I wanted to see if I can get images to show up through yahoo hosting, since they didn't work throught my talkcity website.

If this works I will probably show more photos.

I have added more people to my friends list. I might go through and re-evaluate sometime soon, probably not though. I like the ecclectisity (yep I made that up I believe) of it.

Sometimes I just want to snuggle up with my kitties and read, hybernating from the world for long periods of time. I would be completely happy.

At the same time I have been spending much of my thought processes lately debating what should be spent time on. Books, career, friends, etc. There are so many issues back and forth.

I then remembered this. Someone sent it to me in an e-mail a while back so you may have seen it.

Font color= "sky blue">A philosophy professor stood before his class and
had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he
picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks
right to the top, rocks about 2" in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was
full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and
poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles,of course, rolled into the open areas between the
rocks. The students laughed.

He asked his students again if the jar was
full? They agreed that yes, it was.

The professor then picked up a box
of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up every-
thing else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that
this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family,
your partner, your health, your children
- anything that is so important to you that if it>
were lost, you would be nearly destroyed. "

"The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a smaller scale. The pebbles represent things like your job, house, or car. The sand is everything else, the small stuff."

"If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar
first, there is no room for the rocks. The same
goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and
time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for
the things that are truly most important."

I am now more confused than I was before. The above philosophy seems simple and truthful, but there are still (conflicting) nagging questions, or thought processes, I have.

In my life, my career (acting) comes first. If I let my lovelife come first, I would not (possibly~depending on if I get in, but alas I digress) be going to New York this fall.

Let's put it this way. As a smart person once compared our lives to ships sailing, I shall use their analogy.

I have a destination. I will never leave my ship and get on another one. If another ship heading towards their destination crosses my path and is heading the same direction, for the time being we may sail side by side.
Note, I also do not want someone to get on my ship and let theirs sail off. In the same sense, anyone I get into a relationship with would not want to get off thier ship they will have a strong path set out to their destination (they will have a very strong sense of self). But this is an entirely new discussion.

Basically, if I followed the above stated philosophy, I should put someone I care about first (AKA a relationsip) and acting (work)second. Though I guess they might mean after you have gotten yourself set, you have a steady job? Look, now I've come full circle and gotten myself confused AGAIN.

Maybe it will help if I explain why these thoughts have been filling my head. I met some good people, about, hmmm, 3 months ago, or close to it. During the Nov, and Dec, I spent much time with them. I guess overload of friend time. I had my hours set out for rehearsal, job, and then had free time at night, during which I had much energy and would have no problem going out afterwards.

Since I have been out of school (rehearsal) my schedule is very last minute. I find out about an audition, I am there! I have to be if I ever plan on making it in this business. The world of theater, film, and television is very "must be available", it might be the deciding factor in whether you get a part or not.

I have also been working a lot because I need to save money. When I am not auditioning, giong to a vioce lesson, or have something connected to my career goal, I am working. I try to see my friends, but often schedules clash. I also try to fit sleep in there.

I think it has been a good month or so since I've REALLY seen my friends. I type this meaning for more than a limited amount of time and only a few at a time. Don't get me wrong, it was great, but there's a big difference when you have a time restriction.

I'm in limbo land. Don't worry I shall explain. If I were just serving, like I did one summer, I would be fine. That would be my job, at night I would go out and hang with my friends. Or on weekends, or whenever I had off. If I was just in school I would do all my "work" (this I am using as an analogy for acting homework = monologues, and essay to get into school, test= auditions, grade=getting part, getting callback, etc.) and then hang out with my friends, or even just on weekends. Now I have all that, PLUS if I get into Tisch (crosses finger and makes squinty eye teethy tight mouthed grin-hope, hope, hope) I will be diong all that, PLUS actuall school work. Not to mention I will be attempting to keep in touch with my friends everywhere no New York (the nubers seem to be growing of friends I will actually keep in touch with as the years increase).

me<~ is just frustrated at not being able to fit everything in and not sure how exactly to prioritize.

It will become clear eventually lil chyna dawl, it will.

And if not. Just squeeze and squeeze and eventually it will all fit. (big cheesy sarcastic "I swear" smile).

OK, I shall end here.

(of relief)

It was nice to get all that out.


Hmmm, I want to take picture of cute lil Joey and post it. Hmmmm.

OK, next post. In a few.

I hope everyone is well, and I hope no one fell asleep and messed up the programs on their computers due to head falling and hitting many keys. I shall take full blame on that part.
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