Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile pyxie's world Previous Previous Next Next
Story time - a world of possibility
Story time
So I'm chattin with my friend, he gives me a short synopsis of WWI (or was it WWII), well whichever it was, it was short. I then ask him if he has any other summaries b/c I need to brush up on my history (joke, but I wanted to see what else he had summaries on).

Soooo, instead I get him to make up a tory for lil ol me. it was kinda funny. He said he didn't know any more history, so I said to make up a story.

You know what I loove about him? I realized this only when I asked another friend to make up a story, he has no obssesion with sex, like most guys, especailly at his age, do. I asked another firend and he said it would probably end up perverted so he wouldn't.

Anonymously:Is this a test?
EBarron589: umm, ok
Ebarron589 >=)
some more chat then . . .
Anonymously: One time I was sitting in a cafe in Paris
Anonymously: and these two new-wave gangster-looking guys walk up and they're like, "Da boss wants to see you"
Anonymously: so I got up, put down the newspaper, took a last sip of coffee, and promptly threw the remainder of the cup into the first guy's face
Anonymously: he went down in a heap
Anonymously: the second wasn't so easy to take out b/c he was wearing goggles, so I made use of my local cuisine and sliced open some really stinky cheese under his nose
Anonymously: this caused him to cry a lot and the tears filled up his goggles, blinding him, and I ran away to my cool-looking car which was waiting nearby
Anonymously: it turns out that they had hijacked it so it would start, but it wouldn't run. I sat there puzzling about what to do
Anonymously: slamming my fist down in frustration, I released the emergency break and the car started moving
Anonymously: score one for genius
EBarron589: ::-D
Anonymously: should I keep going?
Anonymously: or is it just too dumb
EBarron589: keep going, me is enjoying, may I post it?
Anonymously: please, no
Anonymously: actually yes, but anonymously
EBarron589: ok
EBarron589: ok
EBarron589: :-D
EBarron589: tanks
Anonymously: upon pulling out of the cafe's parking lot I ran over about 100 pigeons, and an elderly lady who was feeding them narrowly jumped out of the way
Anonymously: I had failed to realize this was one of the European places where no one drives, they all walk, so they don't expect a car to come speeding out of a parking lot into the middle of a plaza and almost kill them
Anonymously: but they just had to put up with it b/c I was a secret agent
Anonymously: they call me Smith
Anonymously: John Jacob Jinglheimer Smith
Anonymously: and no, that's not your name too
Anonymously: I got out of the plaza without trouble, except that the angry pigeons had left a few presents on my car after I had disturbed their lunch
Anonymously: turning onto the highway, I tricked out Hum-V pull up alongside
Anonymously: the mini-gun on top of the roof told me I had better watch out
Anonymously: it actually turned out that there was an old man driving the car and he just used the gun to scare off, "Young punks with the pants around their ankles" whenever they tried to jack his car
Anonymously: He scared me, so I changed lanes, nearly cutting off a young doctor in a subaru outback who was going to the emergency room to help out with a big influx of patients
Anonymously: I guess there was a huge accident at the munitions testing plant/daycare facility downtown
Anonymously: Then I thought why are you so morbid?
Anonymously: But that had nothing to do with my story
Anonymously: anyway, the girl in the outback drove off and I never saw her again
Anonymously: so, I swerved back into the other lane and found that there was an armored car that had pulled up behind me
Anonymously: it was obviously from the same troupe who had sent the previous two assassins
Anonymously: because the logo on the front was of the WGKY street gang
Anonymously: the trouble wasn't that WGKY stands for We're Gonna Kill You
Anonymously: it was that the logo just looked soooo stupid
Anonymously: it was like this dumb gun with a fist and they were crossed in an X shape
Anonymously: I mean, c'mon, at least hire a graphic artist or something
Anonymously: pshaw
Anonymously: Then they started firing at the car, so I activated the rear deflector shieldk',m
Anonymously: that didn't work, so I tried to use the rear pointing machine-guns
Anonymously: they misfired so I chucked a grenade out the sun roof. It landed smack dab in their car, but it didn't explode
Anonymously: so I used the rear-pointing flamethrowers which come equipped with every cool-looking car
Anonymously: but it turned out that it was fed using the gas from the gas tank, so I figured I could shoot it for about 10 seconds before I was emptied
Anonymously: so that idea went down the drain
Anonymously: to make matters worse I had just received an IM from an old flame on the car's dashboard laptop
Anonymously: I thought, "sexyhelen3453455, why now?"
Anonymously: I thought we broke it off when I told you I didn't want to see you and your hot college coed roommates get drunk and horny for me
Anonymously: so I clicked "cancel", hoping she wouldn't take it too hard
Anonymously: All of the sudden, I had a revalation
Anonymously: the constant crashes
Anonymously: that fact that nothing worked
Anonymously: the inane banter and endless pounding of lies into my brain by people who liked my car
Anonymously: I realized, my car was made by AOL!
Anonymously: so anyway, I floored it out of there, b/c everyone know armored cars can't go faster than 50 mph
Anonymously: why the thought hadn't occured to me earlier, I wasn't sure
Anonymously: but sometimes you just can' t make the connections all the time when you're a secret agent
Anonymously: I got home safe and sound that night
Anonymously: and bought a new car, threw out the TV and cancelled my AOL subscription
Anonymously: The moral of the story is, just keep dragging it out
nd eventually people will believe or be tired enough of you to put up with you
Anonymously: thank you
Anonymously: ok that's it

Ok, so the other thing, maan have I had some messed UP dreams lately!.

ok, slumber well everyone, I'l prolly type more later.


Current Music: mozart - Motzart 9

Leave a comment