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dreams, expectations, reality and other things - a world of possibility
moowazz
moowazz
dreams, expectations, reality and other things
waking up from a dream that made me cry, i realized in waking life i probably would have reacted quite differently. it's funny how dreams can still sting upon waking - even ones you know are %99 inlikely to happen. for some reason i never say %100, funny that.




not all dreams are bad. and they too can exist, even without substance, after waking. we can smile and be giddy or just calm for the rest of the day after a good dream.




then there is waking life. i try my best be positive, to go with what comes my way in whatever shape or form it may be. for some reason - i think it's that "thin line between love and hate" - my family can still hit that soft spot.

i've begun something new - an email once a week with my folks telling them about my week. i write in it daily or every few days (often enough not to forget what happened :P) and send it after a week. i realized they often don't know most of what's going on here and i am oblivious to what goes on there. i'd like to know. my dad has been doing it with me. my mom has not. they are still married - so i wouldn't mind if they did it together. it would probably be quite amusing at times. at the moment, this is not the case. it's just my dad.

a small tiny little girl inside me asks why and the silly insecure girl says am i not worth the time or effort? in reality i realize it has nothing to do with me. yet there are still these expectations of parents.

when we are little they know the answers to everything. they are mommy & daddy so they know more than we do. as we grow older and learn things, they know less and less - eventually they know nothing. then we learn more, or less actually - we learn that we barely scratch the surface of "knowing". part of us still expects and secretly hopes our folks know better so we don't have to be responsible. they are our parents and want what's best for us.

they are people too. they make mistakes. they have self-interest. they love. they get hurt. even when we see them as people we sometimes backtrack to seeing them as parents and placing upon them the shoulds of the "ideal" parent - if there is such a thing. or maybe "i" rather than "we" as i'm not sure how anyone else sees the world :)

ok - the rest of my inspiration to write has gone mia and i'm hungry :)

i hope all is wonderful

:)~


4 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
corto From: corto Date: October 11th, 2008 03:12 pm (UTC) (Link)
a lovely post.
Thank you sugar. :)

(and that last picture should be a giant poster in a frame. :)
moowazz From: moowazz Date: October 11th, 2008 03:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
thank ye kindly :)

i have the last picture printed semi-big. my folks have it printed bigger - they are my biggest customers (and supporters) at the moment.

i hope all be wonderfu in canadaland
missaligator From: missaligator Date: October 11th, 2008 04:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
when we are little they know the answers to everything. they are mommy & daddy so they know more than we do. as we grow older and learn things, they know less and less - eventually they know nothing. then we learn more, or less actually - we learn that we barely scratch the surface of "knowing". part of us still expects and secretly hopes our folks know better so we don't have to be responsible. they are our parents and want what's best for us.

Amen!
moowazz From: moowazz Date: October 11th, 2008 04:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
*hug*

thanks

hope all be wonderful

see ya sorta soon! :)
4 comments or Leave a comment