Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile pyxie's world Previous Previous Next Next
back from west coast as of 6:40am this mornin. at the moment I'm… - a world of possibility
back from west coast as of 6:40am this mornin.

at the moment I'm full of OJ (orang juice - a quart or so) and not too much else.

had a wonderful time out west with joe. It was nice to meet his family and see how they all cared about each other. Best of all it was great to see joe *smile*

I was a bit frustrated with myself the last few days. I hurt my knee (my own fault) so I couldn't run. I was doing so well, even improving my time already. I hope I'll be at least a bit faster and my knee will be %100 by april. In case this talk is confusing, I'm training for marathon #3 and hoping (*crosses fingers*) to qualify for boston, or at least get a time closer than my others.

I also started getting itchy about my photos and moving etc. etc. - basically my "future". Part of me wants to sit still at my folks house until I get everything together for my gallery showing that I'm hoping to put together. This makes sense - I have more resources here, or rather i have resources here. Plus I save money and I have support.

This mornin, however,

  • 3 hours sleep
  • ,
  • frustrated with myself for sitting still (not running) for 3 days

  • upset that I took out some of my inseurities and inpatience (sp?) out on joe the last few days

  • ended up not taking a nap today because when it was time, well I would've slept til 10pm and then been up all night

etc., etc. all excuses.

basically I didn't feel so hot (hence the ingestion of large amounts of OJ), went upstairs to cook a small something - was actually a bit hungry. came upstairs to find mom cookin some pasta. 1/2 whole wheat, 1/2 plain. yay - i'm a fan of whole wheat lately. she offered some too. score! this was my plan to eat - some pasta.

then i go lookin for pasta sauce. mom had opened the last one and was cookin it with meat. ARG! so I asked if that was the last one. I thought I had asked nicely, but maybe not as nicely as I assumed. we ended up arguing. result:
I now have all my food separated from theirs. I'm itching to move - like now!

and i need to apologize to mom. it was silly and stupid. I didn't feel good (this doesn't make things right) and all i wanted was to come up, grab food, and go back downstairs. so when i got no sympathy i just lashed back more. and felt even more of an urge to get out.

when i move, i want it to be for the right reasons
  • desire to have my own space

  • desire to move forward

  • I know there's more, but at the moment my train of thought has gone bye bye

    right now I'm having visions of a road trip (already have a few destinations in mind) sort of soon. Possibly after my next visit with joe.

    I want to tell joe all about this because i hope to do it with him. while we won't be moving together (i've decided to go the route my cousin went - not living with someone again until i'm engaged) i hope to find somewhere we both like for possible future.

    at the same time, he's already way overwhelmed having just gotten back not even 15 days ago and has plenty to worry about. I def don't want him to feel presured.

    and, again, at the same time, i want him to know where i'm at and be able to share my excitement with him. so i'll prolly end up tellin him and lettin him tell me if it's too much at the moment :)

    ok - brain dead, back to finding professional printing companies in the area. Anyone have any knowledge on the subject?

    one five pictureS for - well cause i like pictures
    Death Valley - the last 2 are moving rocks at the racetrack -aka devil's racetrack

    i hope everyone is wonderful

    Leave a comment