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Much delayed writings :) - a world of possibility
Much delayed writings :)
Just bunches and bunches of random stuff. :)

There's LOTs, so if you wanna read . . .
I don't wanna fill up your page so go . . . .
Here we go . . .


Not the kind you're thinking. Shame on you! (Though I obviously thought about it too).
(Sex or similar ~ for those of you who actually were NOT thinking of it)

Wouldn't it be nice if you could step in someone's mind/body and fix what needed fixing (problems they've been having) and then step out and everything's fixed? Kinda like in HS if someone helped you with your homework, but got fed up and instead just took over. It would get done but you didn't learn so I guess doing that wouldn't be as helpful as thought, except for the fact that they could begin the learning process with a less crowded train of thought. Like learning calculus and going back and starting with addition.

I apologize if I don't make sense, LOL.

: One entry found for exanimate.
Main Entry: ex�an�i�mate
Pronunciation: eg-'za-n&-m&t
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin exanimatus, past participle of exanimare to deprive of life or spirit, from ex- + anima
breath, soul -- more at ANIMATE
Date: circa 1534
1 : lacking animation : SPIRITLESS
2 : being or appearing lifeless

OK so back to my random post.

Just some stuff I jotted down during class the other night
- Faces all attractive in physical sense
- I've seen them all without makeup. Few of them are still AS physically attractive. I think a GREAT deal of this has to do with personality.
- Make-up to cover up personality flaws, at the end of the day you must take the mask and YOU are who must see yourself in the mirror.
- You must ultimately deal with reality. Reality is what you make of it, your reality. If you only live it on your own, how truly happy are you?
- Do you like what you see?

"Army of friends". Very few GOOD friends, who have a lot of qualities I need in a friendship that will be maintained for years to come (that I KNOW will be maintained, not just the possibility). These I will be naming as part my "army of friends". I have a few so far.
I dunno, just sounded kewl, people I KNOW I could talk to about anything I guess :-)

I often turn my head sideways, or tilt it. Like a skewed view of the world better? Hmmm
Since I had my voice lesson on Wednesday
"Can't please everyone so you got to please yourself" line from an oldies song on the radio from Nov 7 (1962?) Anyone know it please let me know.
"You can't spend your entire life helping people, when you realize this you will be so much happier. Hopefully you won't be like (me) and will learn this sooner so as to not waste too much of your life with EVERYONES problems"
. when asked when it is ok to help people . . . "When problems AREN'T their life. AKA complaining is not the basis of conversation, but rather subject that comes up once in a while when a sounding board is needed. ALSO when they ask you for it. You can NOT give someone help who does not want it. The former usually goes with the latter ~ when complaining is the basis of conversation, they don't want solutions, they just want to complain.

YEM: You Enjoy Myself

There's a fly that's been on my windshield for a WHILE now. I almost don't want to pull it off now, kinda hoping it will just come off. I've been hoping that since I saw it on there. Hmmm. Probably won't happen, LOL. It's decaying. When I stared at it the other day on my way to class (last night) and saw and thought about that, it made me think of a Stephen King story. I believe it was from his short story book Nightmares and Dreamscapes because I can't find it in Skeleton Crew, and I think that's the only other one of his short story books I've read. All I remember is that there was a dead guy, or rather the essence of some dead guy in the first stall of a company bathroom and there lots of flies, eventually dead ones, but at first live ones.

I'm applying to Tisch. I have good feelings. :)

So I think that just about brings me till today.

I said about confusion then clarity "Hmmmm, clarity. A lovely sense, ESPECIALLY after IMMENSE confusion. IT's like all of a sudden the picture gets REALLY big and you see how it fits ~ from a close-up to a panoramic, or all the pieces come together like in a puzzle."

I've discovered that dancing and acting give me much energy. Shortly after this I read the part of CP, WHOA CP, I was meaning Celestine Prophecy, but earlier in that book I was writing CP forthe initials of my voice teacher. I need a second to take this in. That was really weird. Another notch to that "panoramic view" just got turned, so it includes more than before. That then made me think of the "me as the only the head of this bigger being" or something similar. If you have not read CP (the book), you will not understand, and I do apologize.

On the drive to class/rehearsal (I love rehearsal by the way) there were two kids in the back of a station-wagon. They were therefore looking in my direction. I put my hand in front of my face, thumb on my nose, pinky towards the kids and waved my hand, a random thing many friends know me to just DO sometimes. After a short time they made faces back. It just made me smile.

Plus I heard on the radio about some girl (yes the WTC) who was saving $ for a Barbie, but instead gave it to help the WTC so some other girl could have a barbie and maybe it would make the other girl feel better. Because of this many other little girls sent the generous girl their barbies. Amusing. And nice to know that even kids have a sense of caring just for the sake of caring. Or I thought "nice" at the time. It bugged me the cause behind all of it, meaning that's what it takes, and also that it's not an actual caring (they don't KNOW people), it's almost that they want to make themselves feel good? OR maybe it's not. I dunno, I'm confused as to what I think now, LOL. I think I'm on my way to figuring out what my view is but have not gotten there quite yet. J The idea of "caring in general" has been confusing for me lately.

I guess my view leans more towards, how can you TRULY care for people if you don't know them for all of who they are. OK, not ALL, because even they themselves never know ALL because we are all learning and growing all the time. Of course no one wishes harm towards others, and we want everyone to be happy, but if you have NEVER talked to someone before, even met them, and they are sad, and you want to make them feel better, what makes you so high and mighty that YOU can make them feel better? I'm a hypocrit here, sorta. Maybe, not quite sure yet. I think it's a way to relate to people and help them, but sometimes it makes us feel better? Who knows. AAAHHH TURN MY BRAIN OFF! LOL.

OK, enough. I'm going in circles I think and NOT taking a new route when I return to that beginning point where I COULD possibly deviate routes.

More eventually.


meez :)~

Current Mood: contemplative contemplative
Current Music: Rufus Wainwright - A Bit Of You

1 comment or Leave a comment
From: nolf Date: November 9th, 2001 07:34 am (UTC) (Link)
You know whats funny? My mother can do that. She's a healer. She can step in, and step out, and things are good.

You know what else caught my attention?

"ARMY" of friends.

You have knowledge in there somewhere that you aren't recognizing. I didn't give you the credit you obviously deserve.

You brought a smile to my face this morning. Thank you
1 comment or Leave a comment