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wonders never cease - a world of possibility
wonders never cease

I tend to write when there is so much in my head that it needs to come out or it will burst or grow mold (yeck) or sometimes I feel like I just need to be part of civilization - even if it is in a half-assed way. I told myself that I needed to write next time I was happy b/c that's the hardest to recreate, somehow it's incredibly difficult to get back there or to think how you could've been there when everything is not cheery.

So here is happy. :)

When I was younger, and if I had time, money and energy I probably still would (eh, have been known to once in a blue moon), and I was upset - I would find myself doing 2 things driving around blasting music and/or going to a movie - by myself. It somehow always got me to look at things differently, whether it was brooding more or changing myself to a better perspective, it was something.

Tonight I came out of a movie and was just content - not in a bad way either, content like that warm cozy bundled up in a blanket with hot chocolate in your stomach and a kitty or doggy sitting with you content. Some may hate the movie, some may love it, but for whatever reason I enjoyed it tonight and it helped me leave with a smile on my face after coming in to it with a, well I've had a rough week lately - nothing specific, just my mind left to its own devices.

It's like, the world is what we make of it, and we are here for a set amount of time - forgive all the cliche-esque babble, but well that's how it's coming out :) - we can either do what we like with it, enjoy our life, enjoy what there is here, not every single moment is necessarily going to be "special" but it can be enjoyable, or at the very least we can be content - at times that can be better than ecstatic or overjoyed in a sense because it is a more permanent sense and it is not followed by an almost sadness because whatever created the ecstasy or excitement is eventually going to end and we will go on to the next thing.

I'm challenging myself to allow myself - and those around me - to not be definied or chained to a set definition of who "I" is. I found recently I would see a sweater or outfit which I would like to wear - but I would need a 'special' occasion to wear it rather than just wearing it because I enjoyed it, it made me happy. I was too worried about anything that would have people questioning who I was or making judgements - putting me in a box. In the end it doesn't matter, and in a sense, by not doing what I feel like for whatever fear I put myself in a different box.

*deep breath*

I shall end with a few photos - none from tonight, but still they make me smile. Sorry for the huge in-journal photo, I'm lazy :)

I hope all is well


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