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Who is glutton for punishment? - a world of possibility
Who is glutton for punishment?
I'm not even sure if that's the correct phrase, lol.

So I was doing really well with school, so well I would be ahead somewhere b/twn 1-3 classes (well, when talking about homework). This caused me to sometimes get bored in class - because the future readings had to do with things the teacher would bring up in previous classes - which is quite smart, at the time it's a new idea connected to the current discussion and when we read more we're like "hey I know that, we talked about that" and then it sticks in your head even better.

I also get bored sometimes because I try to do the readings thoroughly, aka understand them when I read them and therefore already understand the majority of what is discussed in class. This is not because I think I am smarter, but rather because I actually have a goal in mind with school that is more specific then "get a degree and get a job". I am focused on school where as a good number of students are 1/2 focused on school because they are very much focused on socializing, which is a big part of college. This is only my guess though, because that was what I was like when I first went to college.

My dilemna now is that I have taken on too much, but I really haven't. I shall explain a bit to make that statement understandable. I no longer enjoy things without working for them. For example, wonderful boy traded in his game boy advanced for a game cube, so we could both play (vs the game boy advanced was just him). This has led to a game cube addiction for me. I didn't ignore my homework, but I didn't do it as diligently as previously (being ahead) and was therefore always stressed, so I decided I could not ply until I finished my homework (due on time, not ahead of time).

Well, that kind of backfired because it has become somewhat of a distraction if I attempt doing homework while at home - unless I decide to just not play at all that day, unless I am ahead with my homework. At one point I was frustrated with boy b/c he would play a lot while I was attempting to do my homework - which should not be a distraction, but it was - and mainly because I wanted to play therefore making every sound or movement amplified 10fold.

This addicting little electronic thing happened to come at the same time that I started rehearsals, salsa classes, and helping out with a research project - all things I want to do, I just felt overwhelmed at first.

So now, as I did with another paper 2 or 3 weeks ago, I found myself thinking something was due before it actually was and stressing over it. I look at the syllabus, and what do I find? Nope, it's not due yet. RAWR. So I relax, but at the same time I'm thinking I better get started on that and get ahead in my readings and work on my lines, and this, and that, so that I won't feel stressed and have anything last minute or late, but that in itself stresses me out.

So my point of all this is that school brings back the memory of my bad school habits from 9-10th grade as well as my first semester freshmen year and I end up stressing b.c I don't want to do what I did then - in fact if I did, I might not get accepted as a transfer. I think that's probably the biggest factor. If I don't get a B or above in both my classes, I will not be able to transfer and I am horrible at papers and that is a big part of the grades - especially since there is no final project.

And I think it's only school because when I would have a lot on my plate previously, yes it bugged me not to see my friends, but I would never stress this much.

I guess I just need to not worry so much about boy, because I have been doing that lately - I don't want him to feel neglected, but I need to do this for me. I need to do well, whatever type of time commitment that may take. Hopefully he will understand this. If not it will be a rough time, but I'm not going to let go of my goals again because of social factors.


OK, must do some reading (surprise, surpsrise, lol)

I am looking forward to going home for thanksgiving and seeing my folks and sister :)

I hope everyone is well.

12 comments or Leave a comment
ellipsedream From: ellipsedream Date: November 11th, 2003 11:17 am (UTC) (Link)
what is your major?
moowazz From: moowazz Date: November 11th, 2003 01:09 pm (UTC) (Link)
My intended major (it depends how many credits they accept as to whether I will be able to declare a major right away or not) is Adolescent Psychology.

por qua?

And what is your?

ellipsedream From: ellipsedream Date: November 11th, 2003 01:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
neat. good major. lots of troubled kids. my mom teaches physical education to Emotional Impaired children in the public school system. i've been to school with her a few times. some of those kids... its sad how bad their home life is.

mine used to be biochemistry. took off some years from school. am now going back. yay! changed majors to Environmental Management w/ Minor in Biology so can complete courses online. still not positive what i want to do. but i volunteer at the zoo as well. i know i would love to work in some capacity with the environment (rather broad, eh?). anway, it'll come to me.

why you transfer?

just curious. :)
moowazz From: moowazz Date: November 17th, 2003 09:46 am (UTC) (Link)

You asked . . .

I'll try to keep this simple and as short as possible

*Graduated highschool and went to Oberlin in fall of 1998
*Lots of stuff happened during fall semester leading me to take leave spring semester with the intention of returning the following fall
*found acting conservatory in DC (I'm from MD) so I stayed home, not returning to Oberlin
*During Acting conservatory took classes at AU (American Univeristy) for Pass/Fail (they did not have the no grade option) and Corcoran for no credit
*I moved to NYC for acting and took a few courses at the New School, but again none for credit
*I realized that even while I was in productions I had too much free time and decided I may as well use that time to do something productive and it wouldn't hurt to get some money from it. I was always interested in Psychology.
*Applied as "special student" in order to matriculate in without having to do the incredibly long application process AGAIN.

So technically I'm transferring from being a "special student" to an actual student, not from one school to another - or better, I'm becoming a matriculated student.

Make more sense?

Do you get to work with the animals? I volunteered with the zoo for a really short time - it probably would have been longer if they had allowed me to work with the animals rather than running special functions where you just do t-shirts or play games with the kids (though that was kewl).

Environment - sounds like you've got lots of options. That's kewl though, I'm sure you'll find your niche eventually :)

I hope you be well :)~
ellipsedream From: ellipsedream Date: November 18th, 2003 09:13 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: You asked . . .

here's me...

* started school at UMCP in fall of 1996 after graduating HS.
* moved to New Mexico and attended UNM for 2 years
* moved back home to MD and skipped some school
* did a semester at CSM
* did a semster a year later at UDC
* all that time I was studying Biochemistry. :)
* took another year + 1/2 off
* now going back to school for new major environmental management w/ minor biology

yes, i get to work with animals at the zoo. I'm a Keeper's Aide. its a different application you have to fill out. i did the event volunteer stuff to a couple times. not so fun. i like the animals. you should try for the Golden Lion Tamarin program next spring. Apply in January i think. That's how i got started in May... now i work in Amazonia behind the scenes! its fun.

be well too and all-ways. speak at you when i do! ;~)
melebeth From: melebeth Date: November 11th, 2003 11:41 am (UTC) (Link)
Yay! Someone with a problem I can actually make a useful offer about instead of just offering hugs. If you're nervous about your papers, depending on what your school policy on getting help on these things is, I'd be more than happy to read them and make comments/suggestions before you turned them in.

And I also have to say that I _totally_ understand half of your problem because I got addicted to everquest my second semester of my Masters program and it... well it killed many of my formerly good study habits dead as a doornail.

*hugs and support*
moowazz From: moowazz Date: November 11th, 2003 01:11 pm (UTC) (Link)
I might take you up on that for 2 of my final papers. As long as I don't have you write my papers I see no reason that I would get in trouble - I will ask at some point anyway though :)

My problem with papers - for future reference - is that I make them more complicated and have trouble making the order make sense - it's like the ideas are all in my head, and I can even talk about it when asked a direct and specific question, but you give me freedom and I get lost, lol.

Thanks *hug*

melebeth From: melebeth Date: November 11th, 2003 01:17 pm (UTC) (Link)
That's not an uncommon problem at all really, and one which is really easy for an outside reader to help you unschwizzle. I wrote more the first time I answered this (which didn't post sucessfully), but I can't remember what it was :)
sassenach From: sassenach Date: November 11th, 2003 01:10 pm (UTC) (Link)
couple things i thought of-- can you study at the library or somewhere else quiet, at least some of the time? you could also kick his butt outta the apt when you need to study for a bit--it'll be good for him! lol tell him to go explore the city! :P (i can understand being distracted now that i've been there!)

and i know it's easier said than done, but try not to stress about it, that just makes it more stressful. relax--you're fine!!

and if you need any help on your paper, gimme a ring :)
moowazz From: moowazz Date: November 11th, 2003 01:13 pm (UTC) (Link)
thanks :)

I do spend time in the library or reading room at school :)

and I will do if I determine myself at a complete loss :)

From: limbic_region Date: November 15th, 2003 02:50 pm (UTC) (Link)


You think Game Cube is addicting - try masturbation

Fighting our inate nature can lead to frustration, depression, angst, etc.

I do not know if you are wired a certain way, bio-chemically inclined to act/react a certain way, can chalk it up to environment, combination of things or what - it doesn't change the fact that it is what you are.

You can beat and force yourself into submission. It is possible - it is a constant battle, but people do it all the time. I would recommend a different course of action.

Learn more about yourself, how you are wired, your personality type, etc. I would recommend the following two books as a great start
Please Understand Me
Driven to Distraction

It is then that you can monopolize the things that are inate to accomplish your goals while accepting the things that you might not thing are the best.

Not sure if any of this made any sense - I am having a bizarre happy day.

moowazz From: moowazz Date: November 17th, 2003 09:35 am (UTC) (Link)

Re: Addiction/Distraction

1) Have written down book titles and intend to get copies when I get a chance - maybe on my chanuka list from my folks :)

2) YAY for bizarrely happy days!

3) I'm so excited for you and fiance - all good thoughts that direction

4) Thank you for commenting, I always enjoy it

I hope you be well :)~
12 comments or Leave a comment