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The last few days have been spent living the life of me mum and her… - a world of possibility
The last few days have been spent living the life of me mum and her next door neighbor/close friend.

They came up to NY for friend's b-day. The trip was originally planned for last month, but because other people wanted to join, they canceled and made a time for just the two of them.

I went to stores that
a) I would never even consider going in because of price alone (ferragamo, barney's, etc.)
b) I have never even heard of before because they are prices I would never consider paying and my circle of friends doesn't include people who are "name" consious

this is neither good nor bad, it was just different.

I went with my mom to get my hair cut someplace that I would not go on my own because I cannot afford with my current lifestyle. It looks great. They specialize in curly hair. It's just not something that is a priority to me.

Then tonight after having dinner with me mum, our neighbor/friend, another one of me mums friend, and the neighbor's old friend and having spent the day with 3 of them, we headed back to the hotel room minus one woman.

The 3 left (me mum and her two friends, we lost neighbor's old friend) sat and talked. Myself just sitting and listening. They were discussing the relationship situation of the one who was gone and then transitioned into their opinions about "love" and relationships in general.

One thing they had said on the elevator was that "at her age" she shouldn't have time to 'swoon' over someone, but at my age it was fine (this was not said too me, I was just used as an example). The point they were attempting to make with that comment was that a relationship should not be your life.

The other opinion was that this woman was not going to find everything she wanted, because there is no "deep passionate romantic love". Yes there's love, but there's not time to be ovewhelmed by it once you grow up.

Part of me says "but that doesn't seem right". Meaning that there should be time. And at the same moment I am thinking - I can understand that. What I want the person whom I love to be is an addition, a perk, the icing on the cake (old metaphor, but works).

I don't want to give up a life for someone else, that's not romantic. Unfortunately that's what movies and fairy tales and youth make out love to be.

I'm not sure what it is exactly, and I'm not sure what it means to me, but I do know I am quite happy where I am and overhearing the conversations actually made me feel better about my current relationship as well. Knowing that it's ok not to feel that "ideal" romance that everyone makes love to be, that bigger than life, bigger than yourself, bigger than anything feeling that it seems just doesn't exist, but people pretend it does or have nothing else to hold it up against. Knowing that love is different to each person, there is no universal. Knowing that to me love is being treated well and cared for and respected and enjoying the company of - I'll be it enjoying it more often than other people and in a different way, but not enjoying it more than life itself and that's ok - and feeling completely at home and comfortable, and sharing secrets, and just sharing my life in general.

OK, so I am going to get some stuff done, hopefully some reading (for both enjoyment and research) and talk to my wonderful caring sweety and head to bed!

Oh, in case anyone is curious I am on page 37 (I think, too wanting to get off this computer and read to open it up, it's slow) and am waiting to hear back about something before continuing - will share once I know the outcome.

I hope everyone is wonderful.
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