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time and the manys faces of Pyxie in MD - a world of possibility
time and the manys faces of Pyxie in MD
So much to type, but I'm not sure it will all leave my head

so . . .

Where to begin, where to begin

Off the bat (btw, where did that saying come from) I have returned from Chicago - details somewhere below - safe and sound

So now, I should probably start with my weekend home (MD) followed by the never ending (but enjoyable) weekend -4 days- in Chicago.

We left off with PJ pants girl.

After walking the mall in her PJ pants, PJ girl was convinced by her mother to wear one of the new items purchased for going out to dinner -though it would have been amusing to have seen the reaction of the bar crowd where girls usually wear as little as possible to PJ pants girl.

This outfit consisted of bright red cargo pants - but nicer because they are flowy and soft to touch rather than most stiff ones (eep, not going to go there) - with a blue somewhat fitted T - due to girl's lack of thought process when coming home; Her brain usually goes on vacation when packing for MD home - and a bright red (matching the comfy pants) zip up sweater. This along with her hair sculpting (2 side ponytails only holding the hair that would otherwise be in her face) creates a look that makes her seem as if she is much younger than she is. At least no one lost her that evening.

So overly coordinated girl (previously PJ pants) made her way to dinner with her family, a friend musus, and some family friendswhere her little sister was entirely amusing.

OC girl announced that she would like to have Ben & Jerry's for dessert. Her lil sister stated that, no she was not allowed, she must get dessert at the restaurant. OC girl, after some confusion, realized this was due to the fact that lil sister wanted to put a candle in her dessert for a belated b-day. After coming to the conclusion that she was in fact not going to get a dessert, lil sister decided to change her tactics.

Everyone's dinner has been laid onto the table except OC girls. The servers back is facing OC girl. OC girl starts giggling.

LOw and behold, there is a candle in OC girl's food, chicken and crab. The table was laughing and OC girl was unable to eat for about 10minutes for fear of choking due to laughter.

After the fiasco of dining, OC girl and friend head out to meet up with other friend basementangel. Apparently they have not even been seated at their restaurant, let alone eaten.

OC girl sits, and sits, and sits - randomly mentioning throughout the meal that she wants ice cream and will be taking atleast one hostage with her. Eventually she gets her ice cream, but must wait to eat it because she has somehow become the designated drive (probably because she drives a minivan as well as her desire to drink is a negative) and does not want to risk dripping ice cream on the new clothes.

Luckily one of the passengers (the one seated in the shot-gun seat) was nice enough to hold the bowl of ice cream allowing OC girl to take a few bites before arriving to their destination. One comment was made from the back "Why does he get her to eat out of his hand" the response being that when said passenger produced ice cream in his hand OC girl would then eat out of his hand!

Dancing for some time followed by driving back to the garage where all vehicles were parked and OC girl following friend ( basementange, musus left before the ice cream escapade) to her home and stayed over.

This was enjoyable but unfortunately led to OC girl missing brunch with her grandmother due to
a) her cell phone battery dieing
b) friend's personal phone line being hooked into computer b/c OC girl had needed to type e-mail to warm fuzzy soul
c) no one answered other phone line
aka sleeping until 2PM


next day was . . .

Eventually OC girl made it to her own residence - well that of her parents, and after working with her father on her business plan for about 30 minutes took lil sister and friend to middle school play where it turned out OC girl's birthday buddy's lil sister was the lead.

After running into 1 more child who has grown way to big making OC girl feel incredibly small - who she only saw because her car was blocked in until the old folks mobiles (3 or 4 giant buses filled with people probably from nursing homes) moved - she headed home to morph again.

Tonight she became lil sister wearing her younger brothers clothes, that were way too big (she is 5'1 he is about 6ft). From there she headed to fill her IHOP (or by some called POHI - ice cream holding man to be specific, he will from now on be referred to as POHI) craving. There she met with many friends musus, schwack, arkos, basementangel, as well as 2 non LJ-users, one being POHI. It was wonderful getting to see them all, and unfortunate that the first 3 could not join for the rest of the evening.

lil sister wishes that sometimes her friends weren't so not wanting to be around big groups of people, because she does best this way when she is lacking of time.

lil sis then joined the rest in heading over to Bennigans they were eventually joined by big/younger brother - at which point some of us headed back to lil sis' parents residence to watch a movie that turned out to be 5th Element.

Reflection: It was interesting. It's somewhat puzzling how addictive human contact can be. I thorouhly enjoyed the company, and at some points during the weekend had to step back and remember that whether people showed up or not was not a determining factor of how good a person I am.

Meaning, I had flashbacks from when I was younger and would be at peoples houses and craving to go to sleep, but not wanting to leave because "something" might happen. And in addition, I would get depressed if I wanted to do something and a good portion of the group didn't want to join or wouldn't show up. And yet, when I made big group plans, often I would have too many people there. It had been like the more people I had, the beter I had felt, like proving to myself that I was someone that was worth hanging around.

POHI ended up staying the longest, and his brother stayed until he had to leave for work - but the idea of people staying that long reminded of this time. What's funny is that much attention then would have been something I would have really wanted, but now, it was almost as if I was confused why, well at least POHI, stayed when all I did was sleep and all he did was sit there, since apparently he did not sleep. Not that there is anything wrong with this, it was just odd.

It probably was not the same reasoning for him as it had been for me when I was younger - probably more the idea that it was so late it wasn't worth driving home and then going to work - but it reminded me none the less.


So I realized that I think of time like a puzzle. You know those puzzles where you have little squares that each have a small part of a larger picture and you need to move them around until you create the picture - or sometimes numbers and you put them in order? And there is only one empty space with which to play with?

Basically that is the simplest way of putting it, except it is a straight line and that I have only so much time within a day and I try to fit everything in while still realizing the time constraints of some.

This would be why I usually end up drained - because I want to do everything and when I realize time wise it might be possible, I try my best to fit it all in even if it means no down time - which is something I'm slowly learning to factor in, lol.


So lil sis become the closest to herself - her base name shall be pyxie I guess - and finished her weekend with another full day.

She and her brother met up with her friend limbic_region whom she really wishes enjoyed being around more people - or had been in the mood to that weekend- and had more time because she enjoys his company and would have liked more time. There was ice cream involved again - see a theme starting? It's called sugar - but it was at a table and in a pint instead this time.

This was followed by an interesting ride with bro, who has grown up and is in a better place (well in her opinion, because who's to say what is better or not) and left pyxie wishing she were going to be home (MD) longer and that bro kept in better contact.

Eventually they made it to the set of their uncle's movie. It was a wonderful set, much better than any he has had so far - and some have been really good. But pyxie left soon after because she has seen sets before and cannot get too close to her uncle due to her having the sniffles and him being overly prone to sickness due to his own disease stuff (ask if you are truly curious).

She went to meet up with her cousin who eventually was ready to leave, but only after making positive that her 2 TV shows would be taped at some point by someone - that someone turned out to be Pyxie's father since cousin's father had no blank tapes left. Cousin and Pyxie met with basementangel as well her friend, bro, and friend of Pyxie's at Dave and Busters

Pyxie had much fun playing games, especially the boxing game, with her friend as well as splitting a slice of banana cream pie (or something like that) that was magically delicious mmmmm :)

Reflections: Boys are silly. It was brought to my attention that this friend (not mine, my friend's friend) was interested in me - not to mention the fact that he asked if I had a boyfriend - and I was almost not going to call him back, which I didn't anyhow b/c it had been discovered he was meeting up with us anyhow so there was no need.

Again, had I been younger, I thoroughly would have been digging the idea of having someone around in our group outing that was interested in me in that way. In the same frame of mind, that was a big thing for me, having a boyfriend. When I was younger, actually, I just wanted to be surrounded by more males than females - again it was a self esteem issue.

Now, well partially due to my own issues, I could care less and would actually prefer not to be around those interested in me in that way, at least those interested without knowing me better. I think it's the fact of having to deal with them differently because
a) I don't want them to get the wrong idea
b) at the same time I don't want them to feel they are being treated differently or get offended
basically, now I like being around people where I can just be - people who are friends and are content and happy with that with no alterior motive, that's the best explanation, no alterior motives. Meaning if something happens, kewl, but it is not on the agenda.

Eventually bro and Pyxie left for their movie agreeing to call basementangel when it was over.

This turned out to be Pyxie's flashback night. She called her friend who it turned out was meeting with Pyxie's last fun soul from before she moved away from MD. Pyxie, stupidly, decided that she would be ok, he would not affect her.

Well, luckily they did not stay more than an hour, but it created a sadness is Pyxie, which turned out had to do with more than just that sadness, and Pyxie wrote a long e-mail to her warm fuzzy soul. So in the end it turned out to be a growing point for her.

Though until she got a response from her warm fuzzy soul she was incredibly anxious, lol.

She then proceeded to bed.


So Pyxie got organized, said her goodbyes and headed out with her father driving.

On the ride he asks what kind of plans she has by way of acting, has she given herself a cut off? 1 year, 5 years, 10 years? Some sort of change directions point? Or does she plan on just trying forever?

And this break her open. Everything from work - both "job" and career :aka acting, the current business plan, school (all kinds, towards degree, towards theatre stuff, just for want of learning), friends, family, significant others and where that eventually leads to, her many many aspirations from life,and so on.

This all lead to her current research of schools in the vicinity to get a psychology degree.


The day after she returned home, she had a good audition and packed for her trip the following day after her volunteering - the trip to Chicago
. . .

to be continued

-I hope everyone is well
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