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Timing is everything? - a world of possibility
Timing is everything?
I can't sleep and there isn't anyone that "fits" the mood I'm feeling to talk to. I don't think I know anyone yet that "fits" this mood.

So I'm on here and going to babble instead

I'm sitting here, Yem (my tabby) in my lap being her usual self either staring at me, rubbing her face against my pajama top or anything else she feels like - including standing on my arm to do so - makes typing slightly hard, LOL. She is a very love-needy cat, and I love her for it. Always giving attention and love, and that's all she wants in return - love and attention. She still loves me even when I sometimes don't pay as much attention to her, she still loves me. They all do.

I was walking down the street the other day and there was this couple in front of me. A guy, a girl, and a dog. The man had his right arm around the woman while she had a leash in her hand as they walked down the sidewalk in front of me (well at least until I passed them). He looked like he was a little kid with a toy more than a significant other.

Sometimes when people have their arms around each other it looks more like they are a possession then someone they love or care for. It looks more like they're trying to say "this is mine" rather than doing it for the purpose that they care so much for this person that sometimes they just want to be close, or have their skin touching.

I mean, I have friends whom I am close with, and not even in a sexual way, whom I enjoy walking arm in arm with and skipping down the street because of the comfort level and the good vibes that come from them.


I started a Stephen King novel recently Insomnia Perfect right? I believe I had trouble sleeping before I started the book.

Well, I've always had trouble sleeping on and off throughout the years, and I'm in one of those periods right now. I just can't get my mind to shut off, and yet my body's exhausted. I was even sitting here packing my suitcase for this week - for which there is no way I packed enough, but whatever, lol - and I was yawning like I have been all night but with no urge to sleep, or rather I knew my mind wasn't ready (the whole reason I got back out of bed after 30 minutes).

The worst part is that I know I will be tired in the morning and regret not getting to sleep earlier, but there wasn't much I could do. OK, that's not the worst part, the worst part is I value my sleep for 2 reasons. 1) I don't function properly without enough 2) It takes it's toll on my eyes. I am an actor, I need to look the best I can - this is not because I am a vain person, it's just a fact of something that comes with the trade. I'll get sleep in CO though because I will be doing enough activity to wear me out and be able to sleep in if I like.

Also, the stuff on my mind will be figured out on Monday, well sort of. I found out today that I may not renew my lease, in which case - I won't be needing a new roommate, but a new apartment. I will be happy either way, renewing the lease or moving. I just want to know how much work I will be in for - none or packing all my stuff up and viewing apartments and probably finding a roommate as well.

So while reading the book it mentions about hallucinations, or rather it describes them, what the guy is seeing not just "he saw hallucinations" and it reminded me of a story from Dan from Ren Faire and a duck running beside his car, lol. I then remembered reading somewhere about the research people do for the books they write. I can't remember if it was specifically Stephen King, or someone else, or in a movie, or maybe even in a dream or idea of mine, lol. Whatever it was for some reason I think it was Stephen King and so parts of his stories are based on facts, researched. I'm interested to see what the outcome is.


I'm so so soooo looking forward to Colorado. Fresh air. Seeing my family. Getting away from all my worries. Getting away from the pressure and overwhelming forces of the city. SPACE. Hot tubs. Might even go with me mum and lil sister to get a massage (if I can convince me mum that we should, though after skiing 1 or 2 days - since they've been there since thurday or friday - it shouldn't be hard). Free laundry *smirk* Hey why bring clean clothes to get dirty when I can bring dirty clothes and clean them?


I started making a list of things, little things, that I want from whomever I eventually find to "fit" me. AKA as society calls a "significant other" or "relationship" or "boyfriend". I'll call him my jack in the box - actually no I won't, lol. I have no idea where that name came from, lol.
I think sleepiness is almost here *relieved smile* I've titled it "My quirks" in my journal. I think I only have like 1 or 2 things written so far, but I like them and I'm sure there will be more.


On another note, I had fun tonight. I went with a mutual friend of myself and the wonderful Felixes (I just like typing that because I used to like, well still do, Felix the cat - the cartoon). We met near my apartment and had a wonderful adventure with NJ public transportation which included a "talking to" or verbal warning given to us by a incredibly friendly NJ light rail cop. We had been told we were allowed to pay on board - and had not been asked for money on the way there - so we figured we would do this on the return trip, possibly not paying again. Well, we learned our lesson Mr. cop, lol.

I had fun. I'm learning to invite people to do things that I would normally do by myself. It's been so long since I've done that, invited people. I think because I'm just so used to not having what many people call a "best friend" You know, that person who you call and invite to anything and everything, whether they come or not - though they do a good deal of the time - it's just standard. Well it's been too long for me to remember when I stopped inviting people, but for a long time if I wanted to do something I would just go. I used to invite people all the time, but it was so rare that people would come I slowly stopped asking as many people as often, until eventually I just went on my own.

Anwho the entire point of the PATH train, NJ light rail, and one bus ride was to see the wonderful Kevin in his play. He had a small part but did well none the less. He has some nice parents as well. I only wish I didn't have to get up at 6 (not that it seems to matter, lol) and could've chatted a bit more with him. I did invite him to join in the theatre project I'm working on . . .


Theatre project, it seems that it's going through so I will explain it. I'm still wary until we start rehearsals, but am excited since we seem to have rehearsal space and a stage to first and second weeks of June.

So the idea behind the project is that we will be putting on a play. During the rehearsal process, from start all the way through the performances, there will be 20-30 kids shadowing everyone. They will be shadowing the director, the lighting and sound designers, the costume designers, the actors, everything.

My favorite aspect of this is the fact that kids can see the current real life theatre conditions. It can grow and change as the arts world changes, giving kids the most up to date and best experience possible in a field that is constantly changing. In any internship - which is usually the main way anyone gets to see whats going on in a business without actually working there - in the theatre business usually consists of "get me coffee" or those with which I have come in contact with.

For those who may actually be interested in any part of theatre (acting, lights, stage manager, etc) they get hands on experience as well as seeing how the other jobs work. The key being that whether they plan on a specific career, or just have a general interest, it helps understand and appreciate all the work every part has to do and how if one part doesn't do their work, it might not all come together as planned. This is beneficial anywhere in any field. Understanding promotes better working conditions and less likely to take for granted what the people around them do. For some jobs, it lets people know what they do - one example: often actors have no clue what producers do other than something with the $.

The guy heading this (though I will probably be almost equal to him with the amount of work I put in so far and will be putting in - I've kind of not been doing as much as possibe so that he could still be considered heading it rather than partnering with me - we'll see though) aka. crazy boy, only wants to emphasize the skills : time managment, teamwork, creativity, so this is more my opinion, not anything used in an actual proposal or speech (except what I sent to one friend who is connected to a theatre to ask if she was interested)

So yes, I look forward to working on this. I am supposedly an actor, but will wait and see until we start rehearsals.


Last thing, then I'm going to sleep because I think I can finally (YIPPEE)

In case you're wondering where that last thing is, I decided to put it somewhere else in the long babble rather than at the bottom, so don't worry it was typed (I didn't fall asleep on my keyboard) .

I hope everyone is well. I'm off for my 3 hours.

4 comments or Leave a comment
(Deleted comment)
moowazz From: moowazz Date: March 23rd, 2003 06:33 pm (UTC) (Link)
Definitely will do!

picoland From: picoland Date: March 22nd, 2003 05:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
Your project sounds very interesting. What is "The Play"- or you can even write a play-within- a play. What is your part in this and are you getting some kind of grant to do it?
moowazz From: moowazz Date: March 23rd, 2003 06:43 pm (UTC) (Link)
The play is 2 acts. Act 1 is a "collage" or basically a combination of moliere and shakespeare scenes about different lovers. The 2nd act is Scapino - which I don't actually know.

My part is an actor and also other stuff - not sure how braod this "stuff" is, but I do more than just act, lol.

As for grants, not currently, but that's a good idea, do you know how one would go about doing something like that?

I hope you are well

From: (Anonymous) Date: March 28th, 2003 06:27 pm (UTC) (Link)

insomniacs unite! love sarah eby

hola chica,
I know what you mean about the insomnia - i never understood how people could NOT sleep, i mean sleep is the greatest thing EVER. but lately i've been super stressed and going crazy (hence the googly eyes) and i haven't been able to sleep at all. i hope you get a good night's sleep soon. sweet dreams! --sarah
p.s. have you seen dreamcatcher???
4 comments or Leave a comment