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Went to an audition today. the first in about 3 weeks. Partially… - a world of possibility
Went to an audition today.

the first in about 3 weeks. Partially due to procrastination. Partially due to lack of internet access (the biggest source of my auditions - even backstage is online).

It was somewhat dissappointing since it was one that began with typecasting - meaning they tell you if they even want you to audition by if your look "fits". Which is good sometimes though b/c they don't waste your time and you don't waste theirs.

Still in rehearsal for The Stockwwod Renaissance Faire.

Also in rehearsal with a group just starting up. Actually was asked to be assistant director possibly. I told her definitely as long as I could still act. She's not quite sure what it will require yet, lol.

In the social sense I have kinda been seeing someone and am in the process of trying to end it seeing that it's not going anywhere. I also don't see any big changes in him any time soon. Well, this has been the hardest breakup b/c every time I'm planning on doing it, he cancels our plans, lol.

Anyhow, hopefully it will happen tonight.


Just got off the phone with senor too busy too notice anything, lol.

Naa, he's pretty good. He's a nice guy, but basically I need to come first socially and I don't see that happening. I mean, even just tonight he's at a restaurant where his friend works, lol, and he was saying he just needs to be alone to think about stuff (stuff being everything he's been working on that lead towards a meeting he had today, which went well).

Anyhow, now he says he's going to make it up to me, lol. Yep, you would if you'd still be around, lol.

I'm mean, but, well, since I started the crisis hotline I've become much more decisive - or maybe groan back my decisiveniss that I had for a short time. I know what I want in a relationship and will not deal with less.

Tonight I will instead be working on THE PATH the book I was working on with my dad, but I got waaaay waaay behind.

I'm going skiing with my family and incredibly excited about it! I will get to sepdn some quality time with my folks and my sister as well as be in the wonrderful outdoors for about 5 days.

I realized something while seeing recent boy, well I should call him soul b/c he's definitely not a boy (will not say age, but older than I by a bit - and NO he's not 40 or 50, don't worry). As much heartache as I have been caused in relationships, and as much as sometimes I felt I was just there for the person to learn something from me, well I realized I picked something up from most of those whom I was in a relationship with. Sometimes it was just standing up for myself (often in fact) but, . . .

* like with Silly soul I picke up Yoga.
*With recent soul I picked up the idea to watch how people treat their parents, that's how they will treat their significant other or partner eventually
*with innocent (he was one of the first ones I was in a relationship with while here - the virgin, well the NYC one) I realized even without sex someone can be too sexual
* with psychiatric soul, the one with whom there was a connection and who never tried to kiss me, as well as a few others, there needs to be some sort of contact kept, and effort made, otherwise they are just like anyone else - well not like anyone else, but I find, and I'm not sure if it's just me

I'm having dinner with my great aunt and uncle on monday and very much looking forward to it. She was recently in Asia or Japan (I'm not sure, but I'll find out) for work. I want to hear any stories.

I seem to find myself being pulled in all sorts of directions, but not overly, just enough to feel useful. Like being offered the assistant director thing, being asked to actually work at the 9-line (that is the crisis hotline I volunteer at) which means I get paid, being part of a company (this one I will expand upon eventually, but not currently).

I'm going to end this here, because even though I probably have more to say, I'm finding myself trying too hard, meaning, when I write in here it is to keep record and give the feel at the same time. I explain a little more than I would have in a diary when I used to write in one. Now, even when I write on paper in journals or diaries I explain as much as possible so that someone reading would understand as full as possible.

I hope everyone is well.

I'm off to read and then SLEEP

I'm exhausted! :)~
4 comments or Leave a comment
low_key From: low_key Date: February 26th, 2003 11:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
I always thought it was, "Watch how a guy treats a waitress, because that's how he'll treat you in 6 months."

Been trying to write you an email, can't come up with anything good yet. ;-)
moowazz From: moowazz Date: March 5th, 2003 07:55 am (UTC) (Link)

eh - it doesn't have to be good, lol.

Plus that's up to debate :)

Anyhow, that's ok as you probably saw by most recent post (if you have) My inbox is slightly clogged and I am slowly (piece by piece) attempting to unclog it before too much more comes in and drowns me, lol.

I hope you be well

musus From: musus Date: February 27th, 2003 03:02 am (UTC) (Link)
Just a couple quick thoughts before I crash...
(a) I notice most of the things you learned from past relationships seem to be stated in absolutes. Knowing you, I doubt you actually intended it that way, but I just wanted to make sure.
and (b) I highly disagree with the second thing (the "recent soul" one). Again, maybe just an over-generalization, but I think it's good to discover people on an individual level (which I am almost 100% certain you agree with :)).

I love & miss you much. Good luck & keep those spirits up! :)
moowazz From: moowazz Date: March 5th, 2003 08:00 am (UTC) (Link)

I highly disagree with the second thing

I'm guessing you mean the parents thing. I understand where you are coming from, this being a little more complex than that simple statement. It hink that goes more for parents who do treat their kids with respect.

I know there was a guy whose mother actually treated him pretty damn well especially when you take into the account how he treated her. He would yell at her sometimes and call her names and here he was living in her house. She would make him lunch -not because he asked but because she knew he wanted to save money and he didn't have time (nor would he probably have made the effort). Don't get me wrong, she wasn't a saint and would yell back sometimes too, but for the most part you could see it was out of frustration. He wasn't a bad person either, just didn't know how to deal with his mother sometimes. I could see him being like that in a relationship though if the person was not openminded and didn't know how to deflect all that.

Anywho just my opinion. And in your case - I think, as I said, it's not always that simple.

I hope you are well

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