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Welcome to the New Year - a world of possibility
moowazz
moowazz
Welcome to the New Year
So last night - if you could consider it that, lol, was definitely interesting.

It wove very slyly into today. (I went to sleep @ around 10 or 11 am and woke up @ 4PM - so my internal clock is telling me I'm crazy)

I was done with work early (around 10:30PM) - yes I still get paid till 1, *smirk*

So I was able to spend it with some friends on 42nd St. I really, I think it's the best New Year I've had - in some ways it was like any other day, which I kind of love. In others I've had some realizations, as I seem to be doing all the time lately.

Though I'm not sure if realizations would be the best way of putting it.

I've been slacking a good deal lately on things I need to do to stay on track. Cleaning my apartment, grocery shopping, giving myself "me" time. Lots of things. I'm going to catch of very soon.

Some things have ended with the beginning of this year, though hopefully the spirit and friendships will continue even without the "structure" of the meetings. Only time will tell.

So a few random questions for all you out there. All of these are just questions, no meaning intended behind them, I've just been thinking a good deal lately and been trying to look from every angle - both good and bad.

What are friends?
What is the point of having people in our lives?
Why do we continue to keep in touch with people we don't see on a normal every day basis?
Do you all have someone you could trust enough that if you got into (knock on table *knowck* *knock*) some accident that landed you in the hospital and needing someone to look after you, do you have someone you would trust and feel comfortable with giving this responsibility to?
How much do you think about your future?
Which parts? - Family, friends, and other relationships or Material matter? or job/career/passion ? or something else entirely?

OK enough for now. I'm going to continue with my "vacation" which I believe will be ending tonight. I must finish my sister's b-day present before tomorrow and I want to make a concerted effort to be healthier again (I've been doing waaay too much sweets and just eating what I want without consideration). I do have to say I've kept with the tiny bit of Yoga almost every morning - which has done wonders :)

Long, yes, but I've been in, well, another world of sorts and, nope, no excuses. You can skip if you feel like not reading.

I hope everyone is well and I hope to catch up a bit soon.

Much love and good thoughts.

:)~
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Comments
lordrexfear From: lordrexfear Date: January 1st, 2003 09:12 pm (UTC) (Link)

It's great that you can make me think, I hope my responses help you continue to think...

Question 1:
The people you feel you can honestly trust with your deepest feelings, the people who care about you no matter what level you reach in life, the people you feel this internal spiritual connection that is unexplainable but impossible to deny.
Here's a question...
What is the necessary difference between friend and acquaintance? Is a close acquaintance, some you feel you'd spend more time with and be closer with if time and lifestyle allowed, still only acquaintances or do they become friends at that point?

Question 2:
Some people may actually not need anyone in their lives. They can function in that fashion, hermits do exist, they are happy in this fashion. Some would say taoist monks may also fit this, but since they live in a commune they still share the energies of their fellow monks.
Those of us who do have people in our lives though? It's for the appreciation and experience and energy of those fellow humans, you gain knowledge, history, love, and things that there are words for, but can be of wasted effort when trying to gain what you want from the people in your life.

Question 3:
My personal reasons are simple. There are people throughout my life, teachers, colleagues, employers, co-workers, mates, fellows, characters, suppliers, etc. whom I know shall add a new experience to me when I that day that we do get to meet again shall add to what is my life. Even with you... we do not see each other every day, every other day, sometimes it's weeks or months between seeing each other, but I keep in touch with you for the purpose that I don't want to lose touch.

Question 4:
I would have to say yes and no. There are people in my life who I am sure would do whatever they had to if I was placed in that type of position and I would trust them. I was lucky that the one trait I didn't receive from my father is distrust & reluctance of assistance. I am of clear mind that I know anyone who offered their assistance if I needed it are being sincere in their reasons.

Question 5/6:
Less than I used to. I have conceptions of what I'd like, but at the same time, a revelation came to me New years Day morning at around 5 AM as I walked to my house that not only do I not know what I want, I don't know what I don't want either and I feel it's best that way now, I can have my hopes and my dreams, but if I concentrate on them less and more on the here and now, the chances of the dreamed future will come closer to a future reality.

moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 5th, 2003 03:44 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: It's great that you can make me think, I hope my responses help you continue to think...

What is the necessary difference between friend and acquaintance? Is a close acquaintance, some you feel you'd spend more time with and be closer with if time and lifestyle allowed, still only acquaintances or do they become friends at that point?

Friends vs aquaintances, hmmm. It's a tough call. I think it's a case by case basis. There are people I have met and spent time with only once and would consider more of a friend then an aquaintance and there are people I have met 3 or 4 times, even more, whom I would consider more an aquaintance - these are usually friends of friends who often happen to be there, but I don't really converse with much past the basics.


I think that's all you asked, lol.

Thanks for yer opinions :)

I see you tomorrow

Probably anyone who I have an experience with. This is not to say anything physical or sexual, LOL. When I say experience I mean I learned something from and connected with the person in some way.

There are also different levels of friends. I have some I would almost trust with my life and have known for years, while others I just enjoy spending time with and may or may not get to that level, but this is ok.
artemitis From: artemitis Date: January 1st, 2003 10:14 pm (UTC) (Link)
Friends, to me, are those who help maintain balance within each others lives. They provide safety, comfort, honesty, and sometimes even tough love. For someone to be a true friend, I feel that it has to be an equal two-way relationship. That's why I have so few true friends. I have many wonderful close acquaintances, and even several friends... but those precious few that I couldn't live without... those are my true friends.

I enjoy keeping a steady stream of new faces in my life. I cherish older friends and acquaintances, but always hunger for new stimulation. Every person carries an entire universe of thought and experience within them. What better way to learn new things and expand your own vicarious experience?! But even beyond that, I find that if left to my own devices, I become overly internal. I have a hard time existing outside of myself. And therefore become, melancholic, moody, and usually non-functional. Human relationships help me keep the world in perspective and from withdrawing into myself.

When I moved to NYC, I pared down my belongings. I brought only what I needed, and very few extraneous items. In a sense, I did the same thing with my relationships. I took stock of those who were most important to me and decided those with whom I needed to maintain regular contact. I've done this before in my life. There are people who pass through my life and while they're right in front of me, I love their presence, I love their being, and in a way, I truly love them. But when it comes down to it, they are unnecessary to me. It doesn't mean that if I see them on the street, I won't still love them in some sense. It just means that they don't fulfill a specific need in my life. They're the icing on the cake, so to speak.

I am so lucky to know that there are 3 people whom I would gladly entrust with my well-being in such a situation. This was not the situation a few years ago. In fact, up until a few years ago, I never felt I could trust anyone, even with something trivial. But my life (and I) have changed a lot since then.

I used to think about my future a lot. It was all consuming for me. Everything I said or did was dictated by how it would affect me 20 years down the road. Now, I'm in a more present-focused state. I live from month to month, day to day, hour to hour. Because of the transitional phase I'm going through (which may last forever, for all I know) there's no other way I could live. I can't make any long term plans. Being a person who likes plans, order, and stability, it's a constant struggle to remain fluid.

When I do think about the future, it usually becomes an exercise in wistfulness or joy. The wistfulness is explained here. The joy is in knowing that, hopefully [crosses fingers], I'll be successful in what I think is one of the greatest possible professions in the world. I'll get to travel, live in a beautiful hybrid of glamour and grit, meet amazing people, and best of all, earn money for doing what I love and what has helped make me a complete person. I see my future as an open book without any sort of clear path. I don't know how I will get where, but [knocks on wood] it will be wonderful!
artemitis From: artemitis Date: January 1st, 2003 10:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
BTW, we should really hang out once I get back to NY. I'm very disappointed that I really haven't had an opportunity since that first Meetup.
moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 5th, 2003 03:57 pm (UTC) (Link)

I enjoy keeping a steady stream of new faces in my life. I cherish older friends and acquaintances, but always hunger for new stimulation. Every person carries an entire universe of thought and experience within them. What better way to learn new things and expand your own vicarious experience?!

Yes, exactly! I wonder if other people feel the same? Does this mean enjoy each occasion or meeting with other people for that experience and that experienceonly? Every day is it's own story and is connected to the previous only in that this was the path there and the following only in that it leads there.

I wonder if we as society were less determined to "stay friends" and more determined to just enjoy anything that comes across our paths if we would be happier. Less feeling the "need" to keep in touch, but rather it would just happen if it were supposed to.

The other side of that coin is to just do that, which I try to do.

Have you ever met someone - in a bar or pub, in a one night class, a friend of a friend, someone who you had no idea if you would ever see again, and yet just that experience, the conversation and company - whatever connection there was - was enough?

Now my only question with this (and this is supposing you agree with this view) how do we put intimate relationships in this, does there need to be more of a definite knowing that we will be there the next day, that it wasn't a complete experience within itself, or do we need to do exactly that? Same with friends we've known for years.


I am so lucky to know that there are 3 people whom I would gladly entrust with my well-being in such a situation. This was not the situation a few years ago. In fact, up until a few years ago, I never felt I could trust anyone, even with something trivial. But my life (and I) have changed a lot since then.

Do you know what inspired this change in you?

And yes, I definitely look forward to meshing schedules at some point :)

I hope you be well

:)~
artemitis From: artemitis Date: January 5th, 2003 06:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
To answer a question with a question, by intimate, do you mean physcially or emotionally?

What changed things? I did a lot of emotional healing throughout college. I couldn't love or trust myself, and thus, I couldn't truly love or trust anyone else. I'm still fairly guarded about certain things with most people, but I'm much more confident in myself.

Part of that confidence came through my singing, which could be a very bad thing, simply because it's not an absolute nor an indestructable thing. My only hope is that the singing will merely serve as a crutch until I can stand on my own two feet with no fear.
moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 17th, 2003 12:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

Hey, is seems to be the case lately, delayed response, lol :)

by intimate, do you mean physcially or emotionally?

In this specific case I mean physically

I couldn't love or trust myself, and thus, I couldn't truly love or trust anyone else.

Really? That's great. I find I have the opposite problem - sorta, if there is an opposite. I have trouble trusting anyone besides myself.

Part of that confidence came through my singing, which could be a very bad thing, simply because it's not an absolute nor an indestructable thing. My only hope is that the singing will merely serve as a crutch until I can stand on my own two feet with no fear.

I'm not sure why, but I have a slight feeling you have gotten past that - or so it seemed the time I met you and through your journal. You have very strong character AND seem to be a good person. Sometimes people who are sure of themselves overlook that aspect. Well, not completely, they just don't think as much about those around them.

I hope you are well and eventually we should definitely get together! Maybe see a play, or even an opera (I have never seen one). I am supposed to go see my voice teacher sing eventually, you may enjoy that (or not, lol).

BTW, do you ever perform? I would love to come see you.

*smile* it brightens everyone's day around you, as well as yours I would hope. :)~
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moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 5th, 2003 04:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

'm not sure what your trying to get at with those questions,
Curiousity

but I'll answer them in my way.

good, that's exactly what I wanted :)


The common theme is a mutual attampt at sharing life.

I like that

Why do we continue to keep in touch with people we don't see on a normal every day basis? You don't have to if you don't want to. Taking my "tug-of-love" theory, if both people are willing to keep in touch, then they do. There is no obligation. In fact, the more it feels like an obligation, the more you should question the friendship.

I agree, I guess my question was more the unanswerable, why do we, like when we want to - what is the reasoning behind it.

The point of having people in our lives is that we are social creatures.

Just as with the above one, I think it was more, what is behind that. More of a phylosophical question I guess (-?-)

I am looking forward to seeing all yous!!!

I hope you be well

:)
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moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 5th, 2003 04:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thanks, I likes yer answers :)

I hope you be well :)~
moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 5th, 2003 04:09 pm (UTC) (Link)

Lemme expand a bit

It's very refreshing to have such simple yet very honest and truth bearing answers. I like that you look at it a bit different because you are very wise for your age and yet don't have as much "life experience" which leads to a very good and different point of view.

Thank you for sharing :)
low_key From: low_key Date: January 2nd, 2003 01:02 pm (UTC) (Link)
Everyone else's answers were way to long to read, so some of this might be repetitive.

What are friends?
I almost think of friends in terms of pack animals; or rather my friends are part of my pack. They aren't family, but they replace my family. They are the people that I can count on to some level of degree and who can count on me. Friendship is...sacred to me. These are the people who I let past my persona and have proven themselves worthy of my trust by not judging me when I was obviously full-o-crap. :-)
(In my own defense, I don't always know I'm full-o-crap until later.)

This is just in addition to what I perceive as social norms in response to that question; enjoy their company, relatively same intelligence levels, interest, etc.

What is the point of having people in our lives?
We are not solitary animals. We need people in our lives. I was raised an only child who moved a lot, so I learned how to live alone and be alone, but I still need people to keep me sane and happy. I don't think we have a choice. Believe me, I've tried to do without people. It just don't work.

Why do we continue to keep in touch with people we don't see on a normal every day basis?
If you didn't, they never really were our friends, merely acquaintances. It also doesn't work if you do it through a feeling of obligation. Also, if I may be more specific, like in your case I would consider you a friend...A friend with anonymity, but a friend nonetheless. The anonymity just allowed for a sped up level of honesty, but if we had met in person, I imagine that we would probably have gotten along just fine...aside from the phase where I hit on you until you bitch slapped me. ;-) I've only met one person from my LJ Friends list, and we got along great in person. I thought she was the shit. It was weird meeting face to face, but that was a great day. If she, or anyone that she considered a friend came into my part of the county, I would do everything in my power to take care of them. Same goes for you. If you or someone you consider a friend ever end up in LA, I would be more than happy to look out for you/them. (I guess that would make them family by association.)

Do you all have someone you could trust enough that if you got into (knock on table *knock* *knock*) some accident that landed you in the hospital and needing someone to look after you, do you have someone you would trust and feel comfortable with giving this responsibility to?
Definitely yes in Steffan and Mystery, maybe one local friend.

How much do you think about your future?
Some, but not more than a year or two ahead.

Which parts? - Family, friends, and other relationships or Material matter? or job/career/passion ? or something else entirely?
When I think of the future it has to do with money. That's the only thing that you can really try to plot. Everything else is too random to be able to do anything with. (Given, money isn't exactly stable either, but it's the one thing you have the most control over.) So I just sort of go with the flow on everything else.

moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 5th, 2003 04:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

This is just in addition to what I perceive as social norms in response to that question; enjoy their company, relatively same intelligence levels, interest, etc.


Do you think if people were more open-minded sometimes - example being music, most people prefer only one "type" of music, they may not dislike other "types", but if asked what they want to listen to, it's usually going to be the same answer. Sometimes you run across people for whom it will be different all the time, or no preference (and not because they are worried what people will think - the group of people they come into contact with would be greater, and therfore their knowledge base better?

Same for level of inteligence versus just being wise. There is a big difference between "smart" and wise. Too many people want to know "facts" and mistake this for being knowledgable. I think that's why society often puts so much pressure on things like getting a degree.

I stray though, lol.

Also, if I may be more specific, like in your case I would consider you a friend...A friend with anonymity, but a friend nonetheless. The anonymity just allowed for a sped up level of honesty, but if we had met in person, I imagine that we would probably have gotten along just fine...aside from the phase where I hit on you until you bitch slapped me. ;-)

*smile*

I too consider you a friend. I realized that when I was thinking about something and decided to e-mail you

When I think of the future it has to do with money. That's the only thing that you can really try to plot. Everything else is too random to be able to do anything with.

I think career isn't too much more random than money, well that is if hyour career is your passion. If it's just a job for money, well, I haven't really thought about it.

I hope you are well

:)~
From: burntwithwater Date: January 2nd, 2003 10:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
First I just want to say Happy New Year and I added you to my friend's list =). Secondly I want to give my response to those questions but I wont make my responses quite as lengthy as some of the others.

What are friends?- I think they are people who you can trust and rely on when you need help. I think there are two types of friends. There are friends then there are true friend. Friend's are like the ones you meet at school and are drawn to one another by common interests etc. Then the true friend's are the ones you meet who really understand you and will still like you no matter what you may do or what may have happened in the past. They will always be there for you and stuff.

What is the point of having people in our lives?- We all need people in our lives it makes us who we are at times. Without other people we couldn't really live to the full.

Why do we continue to keep in touch with people we don't see on a normal every day basis?- I think we just like to see how things may of changed in the lives of people we haven't seen for a long time and just see how they are. Human instinct maybe?

Do you all have someone you could trust enough that if you got into (knock on table *knowck* *knock*) some accident that landed you in the hospital and needing someone to look after you, do you have someone you would trust and feel comfortable with giving this responsibility to?- I personally believe I do and I know they would be there for me but unfortunately not everyone does which really sucks =(.

How much do you think about your future?- I think we all think of our future it is natural human instinct. I normally think of relationship and future. Like where I will be in a few years and who will I be with to spend it with. I want to move and I hope that is what happens and I often think of how much I would enjoy my future if that happened. But I can only wait and see I guess.

Well yea anyway those were my answers. I could of gone longer but I am feeling rather lazy at the moment hehe sorry.
moowazz From: moowazz Date: January 5th, 2003 04:55 pm (UTC) (Link)

Then the true friend's are the ones you meet who really understand you and will still like you no matter what you may do or what may have happened in the past. They will always be there for you and stuff.


I responded to that one in my newest post. :)

think we just like to see how things may of changed in the lives of people we haven't seen for a long time and just see how they are. Human instinct maybe?


that's interesting. I'll have to keep an eye on that one.

Well yea anyway those were my answers. I could of gone longer but I am feeling rather lazy at the moment hehe sorry.

quality, not quantity. thanks for responding :)

I hope you be well

:)~
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