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Smile, it's now - a world of possibility
Smile, it's now
First: Last night was wonderful seeing magpiegeese's art show along with other LJ friends, and some new friends. Good company.

So what am I supposed to think when the world throws me such an odd curve ball?

I shall make this quick for "I'm late, I'm late, for a very important date" - my life

I'm living in my own little world, and yet I'm not.

Everything's inside out, upside down, left is right, I have wings.

I had the beginning of a conversation with my friend nolf over T-day break, well what I created to be a T-day break.

I sometimes think I am one of those people who are just meant to be alone. It's easier on everyones behalf. Not only mine, but the rest of the world - it saves everyone heartache.

And yet, that's too easy.

I found a soul whose company I enjoy and who seemed to be just what I needed - a smile on my face, reliable, surprising ~ after all those who just say they "might" like my company or seem to enjoy me, but only do it so as to risk hurting my feelings, or better yet, to risk themself feeling bad for having not been this "great wonderful person" - and I felt truly paid attention to.

So this smile-inducing soul looks in my eyes, exclaims they enjoy my company, but they are in love with someone else.

Tis the irony of my life.

As I seem to say after getting by the truth of people coming out - bad or good, in the end just meaning no more 'relationship' - "I shall not do this again". And of course, something happens, I get swept away ~ I think the beauty of another world, not mine. One to sneak to when I want arms around me to hide the world, at least for just a minute or so.

So, I shall continue back into my own journey, my little life of auditions, and "networking" and friends and family, and men -really boys at heart- thinking they want me, but once they have me realize they were only fooling themselves, it was their horomones which led them. I have been re-taught that lesson I was taught so harshly last year. I shall just focus on my life for now. Boys can wait. I can be as picky as I like.

At least this time - this wonderful smile-inducing soul - I've been taught, I'm not sure how to put this, I wasn't hurt though. They were good enough to be honest. Brave enough I should say. I thank them for this. They still make me smile.

I hope everyone is well


Current Mood: quixotic quixotic

2 comments or Leave a comment
From: brave_heart Date: December 4th, 2002 10:54 am (UTC) (Link)
I wish I could do something to heal your hurting. There's no doubt in my mind, though, that the perfect person for you will appear when he's supposed to.
lordrexfear From: lordrexfear Date: December 4th, 2002 12:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
I sometimes think that we (meaning both you and I) seem to be on such a certain wavelength, going in the same direction and feeling the same things, in terms of our friendship. We tend to forget how young we are, we tend to forget the swept up emotion and learn thew new lesson each time.
I feel it's time to really just take your own advice that you try to give to me, focus on career, on making it in life and when the "one" is meant to happen, it's just going to. This conception has been keeping me together the last 2 weeks or so, and I think it's going to help me continue on.

I want you to know though, that if there's anytime you need a Reid Harris Cooper perspective on something (to give you that view), be it friendship, career, relationship, I'm always a phone call or e-mail away.

Keep strong! :)
2 comments or Leave a comment