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*smile* ? - a world of possibility
*smile* ?
I'm in a very odd place right now.

I am pushing myself to do things I am not completely comfortable with.

Example: Having friendships with more females. I rarely make the effort. I usually say if they want to be friends they can make effort. I think that statement comes more out of insecurity and uncomfortableness with them.

I think I am more comfortable and confident around males because, for the most part, I understand them more.

I know that if I have a conversation with one, at least initially, they will be interested because I am animated and a fun person to talk with PLUS I'm female. There are so many females who don't have actual conversations because the reason for a guy in their mind is for a "boyfriend" -which can mean anything from a relationship to a sex or physical pleasure object. These females figure they will get by with being attractive (face, body, or both).

Or maybe it's the opposite, maybe I've embraced my "femininity" to the extent that I currently can and am looking to fill something in my "masculine" side. Everyone possesses some of both (what is thought of characteristically as "masculine" or "feminine" just by stereotype, but isn't necessarily what defines one or defined by one).

I also realize that I have trouble having conversations sometimes. I got lazy, realized I knew how to have a meaningful conversation, it's like an art.

Not to say I am not interested, in fact I LOVE asking lots of questions because I think everyone has something, or lots of things, within them to learn (or rather for me to learn from them). I can ask questions till the cows come home (whatever that means, lol).

I've a problem on the other end. Since no one is exactly like me (and I'm glad for this) I am curious what they truly want to know that's going on in my life? Or for people I just meet, what would they really want to know about me, not just being polite?

Enough babble, must work on my costume a bit before heading out.

Quick note: For all my local friends out there, I am missing you and want to get together, either big group (preferable, I looove group get togethers and am missing them, something I loved to do at home -MD-) or seperately (up to you/me/everyone's schedule-s-) as soon as I get my H&R saga (it has continued, LOL) completed and figure out my audition schedule.

I hope everyone is well

2 comments or Leave a comment
lordrexfear From: lordrexfear Date: October 29th, 2002 06:05 pm (UTC) (Link)
You know I'm in if it fits with my schedule! Keep abreast...
From: brave_heart Date: October 30th, 2002 07:59 am (UTC) (Link)

I guess this is totally New Age.

"I am curious what they truly want to know that's going on in my life? Or for people I just meet, what would they really want to know about me, not just being polite?"

Thinking about this question... Questions and answers--words--about other people lead to understanding them at a level deeper than words. I think that we are all part of the same thing, all part of God. I want to connect with the essence of others, to see the source, the love, in them so that I can find it more in myself.

And some people (like you) seem to be more tuned in, at this point in their lives, to the collective consciousness than others. Those people are emanating love, and without even being aware of it are leading others to it.
2 comments or Leave a comment