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I've realized I need a broader spectrum of people. I don't mean I… - a world of possibility
I've realized I need a broader spectrum of people.

I don't mean I need more people in my life necessarily (I've got too many already, but I wouldn't get rid of any of them I love each and every one) but rather people from different places, views, spiritually, mentally, socially, any variable.

Boy: I like him a lot. Something I realized I was doing, which when it comes to intimate personal relationships I always do.

It came to me today or yesterday. Once I get close to someone, or start to, I begin almost apologizing for who I am. I don't want to call too much, or be too needy, or want more or less intimacy or talk or activity (in any sense).

I'm not going to apologize anymore. I am happy to be me. People spend time with me because of exactly who I am. If I'm worrying about what someone is going to think then I'm not being me, I'm being what I think someone might want. THAT'S NOTME!

It's like something was awakened in me.

I will also, in this new honesty, tell people more, or maybe I won't, with my more intimate relationships. I won't be overly optimistic or pestimistic (SP?). Just because a relationship doesn't work it does NOT mean that I am a failure or have failed. It just means things weren't as they seemed or I didn't dig deep enough, or things changed or 20 million things.

Anyone like Oreos? I've got a ton (very random yes)!

OK, my cousin and her friend are back, I may type more later or tomorrow.

By Monday I should type something.

*big huge smile*

I hope everyone is well


Current Mood: seeing more
Current Music: Not the Average Girl from Your by india.arie

5 comments or Leave a comment
artemitis From: artemitis Date: October 19th, 2002 01:07 am (UTC) (Link)
You're my hero! :)

I love this new attitude. It's one that I've wanted to effect in my life, but haven't quite nailed it yet. But, if anyone can do it, I bet you can. More power to you!
moowazz From: moowazz Date: October 20th, 2002 09:27 pm (UTC) (Link)


thanks for the support

I'm sure it'll be two steps forward and one back, as always

you'll get there too, I'm sure! You've got much inner strength.

I hope you are well

sassenach From: sassenach Date: October 19th, 2002 07:22 am (UTC) (Link)

you go girlfriend!

missed you the other night, thought you'd get to meet our buddies in from Orlando...
moowazz From: moowazz Date: October 20th, 2002 09:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

thanks :)

yeah, I wanted to join, my folks were in town though. They left today (here since thursday) along with a lot of other family members. My cousin got married this weekend.

What are you up to not this weekend but the following weekend?

If nothing comes up we should do a henna and movie night!

I hope you are well

sassenach From: sassenach Date: October 21st, 2002 08:51 am (UTC) (Link)


you mean the 26th-ish? if so, that should work out, since mr. man is going to a party that night, so we can have a girls night in!
and if you mean the week after that, i don't have anything planned...
5 comments or Leave a comment