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SLEEP - a world of possibility
I am greatly looking forward to it.

but not quite yet
. in a minute or so


So a few quick things, or maybe not so quick, we shall see.

On the subway yesterday ~ well technically 2 days ago.

I'm sitting down.
. Across from me is a Johnny Depp look-alike.

He is in a wrinkled, black with thin white pin-stripes, suit and a ruffled up (not ruffles, ruffled up) white button down shirt underneath.


His hair is a bit askew, it's shoulder length, dark, wavy, but unkempt. (I think I made that word up).

He has some facial hair - which surprisingly (now that I think back on it) looks fairly taken care of ~ it doesn't look like a 5 o'clock shadow or that it hasn't been shaven. Quite the opposite, the lines are quite clean.

He is reading a newspaper. He also has a beaten up brown leather breifcase - if you can call it that. It's got 2 handles and a zipper in the middle and the tops of lots of papers stuffed in the pockets to either side of the zipper - well I wouldn't quite call them pockets, but hopefully you get the idea.

Then there are his shoes. Black leather, a silver -not buckle, but metal, near the side on either foot. They are quite worn out and look worn from wear, unlike the suit that looks fairly new just not taken care of.

And then, I noticed, there was a teeny tiny piece of broken pencil near his shoes. It is just the eraser and a hint of wood, just enough to tell it's a #2 pencil.

I felt like something was supposed to happen next.

It was just odd. :)

That movie-like morning was on the way to a meeting with a woman to talk about my acting career.

Basically she is like a consultant for acting. She sees what you can do, looks at your headshot and resume and says what needs to happen.

Well apparently I am ahead of many people in some things. This is really nice to hear.

I still have a lot to do.

There is always more to do in my opinion, so this did not suprise me.

In relating some of my recent happenings of my life to my journey in acting . . .

There are so many aspects to acting. You need to learn them all and then forget them. In other words they need to become so natural that they are innate (is that a word?) and therefore all you are thinking about is what the character is thinking. Being in that moment.

Sometimes I forget all the little details an have to be reminded. I need all those details. I also need to remember that I can't think about them while I'm doing the scene.

In life, there are so many things that I have been reminded lately ~ for example just being around people and not worrying about anything. I often try so hard not to send the wrong message, that I then end up just doing that - trying not to send any mistaken messages - rather than just be the underlying me.

I need to make that clear and then expect that it has been stated and move to the next place, whatever that may be.

This most likely makes sense to only me, but it's wonderful. I'm enjoying some company quite well.

Which leads me to my next realization

yes, the WKU soul.

I think I may be ending this soon.

I'm not positive yet so don't hold me to it.

I will wait to see what the next few times we hang out are like. If he makes the plans, what kind of effort he makes to spend time with me, etc.

He treats me very well, don't get me wrong, but that's not enough.

I'm a very picky, cynical, brat when it comes to relationships. I want what I want and there's no getting around it in the end.

Basically we never get to see each other, and since it's so lax, we don't really talk that often. We are both busy ~ but I still put more effort in.

I need more want, even if I can't spend that much time with someone, I'd like the desire to be there.

And maybe it is and I just don't see it.

So as I said, I'll see. I'm not initiating the time together anymore.

And as stated before, don't get me wrong, he treats me really well.

As for these parties - unless I need to be there, I am not going to anymore, they are wearing me out!!!

Oh! Some people are just really odd - more so than myself, and that is frightens me, LOL

time for sleep!

I may be helping someone paint tomorrow. That would be great.

I hope everyone is well

2 comments or Leave a comment
landmark From: landmark Date: September 27th, 2002 08:06 am (UTC) (Link)
effort is the most important thing.
more important that if someone's cute, because they won't always be.
heather & i are long distance, but we move mountains to be together... (oh and she's cute too, so bonus).

if they guy doesn't try, he can date someone with lower standards.
From: (Anonymous) Date: September 27th, 2002 02:40 pm (UTC) (Link)

eby's take

hey hottie,
if this WKU-idiot doesn't realize how awesome you are, then you need to kick his A$$ to the curb! jk, i bet he likes you more than he's willing to show, some guys are scared about getting too serious. but i always say go with your gut, if you feel it isn't right, then it isn't. you're a smart cookie. espero que todo resuelva bien --sarita
2 comments or Leave a comment