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purrr - a world of possibility
that is the sound eminating from my lap.

Can we tell who wants attention?

I have put my cat on the floor, off of my lap, about 3 times now. Each time she continues to re-possess it for her own. At least she is sitting still now. She is so cute. They all are.

I had a wonderful day.

1 1/2 auditions.

The 1/2 being for an agency that does mainly extra or small speaking roles for TV, Film, and Commercials.

They both went well. I do think I could have done better on the one this evening.

I will find out tomorrow (today -eek must sleep-)if I have a job. *crosses fingers* I do hope so.

I have mixed feelings about today, so I am just not going to address it other than to say it was horrible and I feel deeply for everyone affected, on the other hand I feel our society has not stopped talking about it this entire year. Let the people rest. Memory, yes. Digging up graves, no.

I am looking forward to spending time with my WKU soul. We will be attempting to do chinese food and a movie properly this time.

Rant # 1

I read in a play today that all discussions are just regurgitated (SP?) facts & ideas we have heard, seen or read before. OK, not all, but isn't that where it starts?

(background - basis of the play is there are machines as actors, called "actoids". Someone has a conversation with one of them while another person tells him the actoid is not actually conversing, but just spitting out things it has stored from parts it has played or conversations it has heard)

So to continue . . .

Where does the regurgitation end & where do "we" begin? What defines that line?

Not everyone and not all the time, but isn't that what many of us often do? Re-tell events or occurences in our lives, things that have happened to us, around us, about us, or something we have read, seen, felt, etc.?

Rant # 2 (Idea)

I have this written and if anyone steald this idea, my friends will be my back-up/witnesses.

At bus stops there should be a device where if you are waiting you push a button.

This goes into a main system connected to all the busses.

The busses will have a light board where 1 light = 1 stop with a name next to each light.

It will show up on this board whether or not people are waiting @ the stop.

It changes once the person(s) is picked up.

Rant # 3

What would our lives be like if we didn't live in everyone else's reality, if we instead lived purely in our own? Taking no notice of anything but ours?

We would often be considered "insane" wouldn't we?

Rant # 4 (somewhat connected to # 3)

I enjoy putting all of myself in acting because most likely the script is not going to reject me/ (I then drew a little cartoon of a script with a mouth saying "you suck! I don't even have eyes!")

The director or other actors may, but that doesn't bother me because it's all opinion and they are each only seeing through their reality & comparing it to that.

So what one may think sucks because they can't relate to it, another may find endearingly truthful because they do relate to it.

Rant # 5 (somewhat connected to 3 & 4)

When it comes to investing emotionally (relationship wise, not acting wise), I always find there is some part of me pushing hard from deep down wanting to just invest a small part of my soul in another person.

It used to be dominant.

It no longer is. I have created an electric fence of sorts to keep it restrained, only slowly widening the perimeter (SP?) when I think it's safe.

Sometimes it pushes on it's own though, testing the waters. I don;t notice until it's poked through.

I then push it back, sometimes needing to re-evaluate, other times subtracting from the perimeter b/c it was getting to be too much of a daredevil - it might hurt itself!

I patiently & joyously await the day when I find the lands where it can roam freely.

I hope everyone is well.
2 comments or Leave a comment
From: manoloray Date: September 11th, 2002 07:40 am (UTC) (Link)
I was thinking of commenting on your purrring problem on your lap, but I'm not gona touch that one :)

On Rant #1 --- the endless cycle
Often times to start a conversation with someone you start by talking about "things that have happened to us, around us, about us, or something we have read, seen, felt, etc". Sort of small talk... but it often leads to other conversations that often will be "regurgitated" in other conversation that we will have later... and so on... :)

On Rant #2
Don’t you love how Ideas just pop in your head and you can’t really do anything about them...

On Rant #5
Ahh. To roam freely!!! :)
moowazz From: moowazz Date: September 11th, 2002 09:36 am (UTC) (Link)


I hope you are well

2 comments or Leave a comment