?

Log in

No account? Create an account
entries friends calendar profile pyxie's world Previous Previous Next Next
Denis LEary A**hole - a world of possibility
moowazz
moowazz
Denis LEary A**hole
Parenthesis are me

Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream
About me,
About you
About the way our American hearts beat way down in our chests
About that special feeling we get in the cockles (sp?) of our hearts
Maybe below the cockles,
Maybe in the sub-cockle area
Maybe in the Liver
Maybe in the Kidneys
Maybe even in the colon (how the hell do you spell colon)
We don't know

(Singing begins)
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job
I'm your average white suburbanite slob
I like football, and porno, and books about war
I've got an average house, with a nice hardwood floor
My wife, and my job, and my kids, and my car
My feet on my table, and a cuban cigar

but sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
oh no
no way
unh unh
no, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
whoa yeah
yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah

I drive really slow in the ultra fast lane
while people behind me are going insane

I'm an asshoo o o o o o le [ Denis]
he's an asshole, quite an asshole ["harmony"] (above and this together)
I'm an assho o o o o o ole [Denis]
he's an asshole, such an asshole ["harmony"] (above and this together)

I use public toilets and I piss on the seat
I walk around in the summertime saying how about this heat

I'm an asshoo o o o o o le
he's an asshole, quite an asshole (above and this together)
I'm an assho o o o o o ole
he's the world's biggest asshole (above and this together)

Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicap people make handicap faces

I'm an asshoo o o o o o le
he's an asshole, quite an asshole (above and this together)
I'm an assho o o o o o ole
he a real fucking asshole (above and this together)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong

Naaaaa

I'm an asshoo o o o o o le
he's an asshole, quite an asshole (above and this together)
I'm an assho o o o o o ole
he's the world's biggest asshole (above and this together)

(spoken)
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna get myself a 1967 cadilac el durado convertable
hot pink, with whale skin hubcabs
and all leather cow interior
and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights
Yeah
and I'm gonna drive around in that baby
at 115 miles per hour
gettin one mile per gallon
suckin down 1/4 lber cheeseburgers from McDonalds
in the old fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers
and when I'm done suckin down thos greaseball burgers
I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the American flag
and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side
And there ain't a god-damned thing anybody can do about it
You know why?
Because we got the bombs, that's why
two words
nuclear fucking weapons ok? (I beleive that's 3, nope 4)
Russia, Germany, Romania,
They can have all the demoracy they want
They can have a big democracy cake walk right through the middle of teineman (???) square
and it won't make a lick of difference because we got the bombs
o KAY?
John Wayne's not dead he's frozen
and as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the duke
And he's gonna be pretty pissed off
Ya know why?
Have you ever taken a cold shower?
Well multiply that by 15 million times
that's how pissed off the duke's gonna be
I'm gonna get the duke, and John Cassavettis (???)
and lee marvinham (??? not sure of any of the spellings)
and Sam Beckendorf (???)
hey [harmony] (at same time)
and a case of whiskey and
hey! [harmony] (at same time)
And drive down to Texas
hey, hey! [harmony] (at same time)
you know you really are an asshole [harmony]
Why don';t you just shut up and sing this song pal [Denis]

I'm an asshoo o o o o o le
he's an asshole, quite an asshole (above and this together)
I'm an assho o o o o o ole
he's the world's biggest asshole (above and this together)

A- S- S- H- O- L- E
everybody

A- S- S- H- O- L- E [everybody says]

"oooh" and barks/grunts
and weird random sounds

I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it

ding dong (another door bell)

till later

meez :)~

Current Mood: accomplished accomplished
Current Music: barry white - you sexy thing

Leave a comment