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starting over - learning to walk again - a world of possibility
moowazz
moowazz
starting over - learning to walk again
so - mom leaves friday

the last few days have been pretty good. With all the cleaning (and company) I've been pretty distracted.

I still really think I want to go to New Zealand - but probably not until the end of the year at the soonest - we will see how things go.

I guess I just need to keep remembering, or re-evaluating and making plans, and doing things that help me feel full in all aspects.

I sent an e-mail applying to work here thanks to an add in craigslist. It doesn't pay much at all - but the job jumped out at me. So I'll see what happend (hopefully they'll contact me). I didn't realize until I had sent them an e-mail that they are the company that makes

this




and this





ok - i'm starting to babble - below is stuff from my 'dating' journal.

sleepy time for me




this is fromdating_pyxie

i'm slowly getting used to not having another person in the apartment at all times (or almost all time - he did go out sometimes). It's like moving out for the first time all over again - except i'm not in a dorm with a psycho roommate (my friend can vouch for me - this girl was psycho).

so now that i'm back in nyc i'm really not sure if/when the dating will begin. I'm not one to search out dates to begin with, and the majority of my "going out" friends are in maryland.

at this point, however i am not worried as it will allow me to focus on my senior project.

eventually, though, I will need to "worry" about this - which scares me a bit.

however, i have a belief inside me (thanks to my dad, bro, and others who have come into my life) that what I need in life will be presented before me. If I am ready to date the opportunity will present itself to me -whether it be bumping into someone at school or starting a conversation with someone in a restauarant.

as I noted to my cousin about boy (humble pride) not calling - he eventually did, which gave me the space I needed to not get incredibly too attached too soon, but intead just enjoy what is given, and the time and space to look at myself and life and think about what I want from life and the people in my life - all this space I needed, which, however, I may not have taken on my own.

yeah - it may sound a bit spiritual or coincidence or whatever - but that's part of me. I'm attempting to learn to have faith in receiving what I need (not the same as what I want)

so for now, enjoy my regular journal (photos and a bit more babble than usual)


night all

i hope all be well
:)~
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