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Sometimes I think about just running away, dissappearing, and… - a world of possibility
moowazz
moowazz
Sometimes I think about just running away, dissappearing, and starting an entirely new life.

Two seconds later that thought is gone, lol. I like a good chunk of my life too much.

That has nothing to do with anything currently, just a random thought after looking at a friends journal (a friend who wrote 2 entries and stopped *smirk*) and there was one reply from a girl whom I did not talk to for a good deal of time. Actually we have done that quite a few times, not talked and then gotten back in contact.

I got to thinking, there are some people - not that this is bad or good - that will just be in my life forever because they are a part of my circle of friends, be it directly or indirectly. Just a weird thought, weirder in my head probably then on here, especially since it seems like there's more to it, but I can't express it. I know what I mean, lol.

So, last night I had a little adventure. I had been receiving e-mail invites every so often from some guy to parties. These were private parties, not the normal promoter parties. Numerous times I attempted to figure out how I knew him - which I did not - but never could. Finally I decided I was just going to go to one - this one was a very late housewarming party - and see if and how I knew him.


It starts with me getting on the L going the wrong direction because it's so ingrained in me to go towards 8th Ave, lol. Oh well. So I make it to Bedford (the first stop) and get off. Walking to the place I made the decision to find someone else who lived in the city and stay @ the party until they decided to leave b/c I was not walking back to the subway by myself here - I already got too many comments and looks at 8PM, let alone 11 or 12.

I finally get to the building being greeted by 2 "bouncers" (more like just 2 guys takin names from a list, they were too nice to be club bouncers). For a second I was thinking he might not have put me on the list, but he did.

So I walk up to the 3rd floor (they had said 4th, so I was a bit confused) and take off my shoes - having been told to do so by the "bouncers". I walk in, look left - there's a small crowd sitting on a couch watching TV. They're a bit older, one or two much older, more like 60 or so, and decide they look a little uninviting. I turn right and head up the spiral staircase to the next floor.

There is a gentleman who looks friendly so I ask him where the guy who's party it is is. His answer leads me up the rest of the spiral staircase. The next volunteer of information is the photographer, who points out Toshi, the man of the evening. I introduce myself and begin to try and piece together the puzzle, but am informed I probably went to one of his parties and that I should go get a drink and have fun.

The first 10 minutes were spent walking up and down between the 3 levels exploring and scoping out who looked the friendliest.

Let me note, this was a GORGEOUS building. Big, open, unique, it was wonderful being there compared to most cramped places - it was big enough to be a club.

I talked a bit with a few gentlemen, wom made up many stories - one of which was that this was an "S&M" party. I just smiled and said "uh huh", eventually leading to them giving it up. Though they made up more stories for other people. They soon got boring - I felt like I was pulling teeth trying to have a conversation with them - they didn't seem to eager to stay in conversation either - leading me to explore again.

I was ready to leave, but could not. Dilemna, lol. So I placed myself at the edge of the balcony on the top floor (not the roof - that was one more up) and watched the going-ons below with the "bouncers" and people walking down the street. For a minute I got excited because I saw people walking down the street wearing noses that lit up. Or "blinky lights" on their noses. Though one was red and blue colored, the other just red. They walked to the door and past it. Oh well.

Then I met Jeff. One of Toshi's roommates who happened to be from Maryland and also happened to be going to Russia (Moscow to be specific) very soon. We talked for a bit until he had to go let his friend in. When he came home it had led to a phone call to Toshi b/c he was not on the list, lol, they didn't know he was a roommate. So therefore he figured it best to let his friend in.

Next was Sveta. She was from Russia. I later introduced Jeff and Sveta so she could give him a few tips about his trip. She was quite nice, and as much of the company, interesting. We chatted a bit. She wants to be someone who negotiates for people - be it in high upper cut businesses, or food service, anything - a networker of sorts. She just hasn't figured out where she wants to do this. She lives upstate and crashes with friends during the week. I might actually call her and hang out with her, we'll see.

Next was Paul. He's an engineer. He was introduced to Sveta and I by Toshi. This was actually amusing. Toshi introduced Paul to Sveta and then went into that he was an engineer, originally supposed to work on the house. Toshi did not introduce me because Toshi does not know me. I just smiled and introduced myself. Paul did not hear my name though (which I knew) because he just looked at me smiled and said "nice to meet you" - not in a mean way, it just didn't go into his mind because he was too eager to get into conversation with Sveta and I, two young women who are fairly attractive, quite friendly, and smiling.

Paul was from England originally, and still had an accent, unlike Sveta who had been here about 1/2 the time and had only the trace of one. The three of us talked. And here is where things started getting, well for me, interesting.

I look people in the eyes when I talk, or I used to. I've started doing it again. The only problem is that many other people don't and it leads to - well - it can send mixed messages sometimes.

So Paul, Sveta and I talked a bit, walked around throughout the evening, pairing off differently. Paul and I while Sveta would get a drink. Sveta and I while Paul talked with someone else. Sveta and Paul while I walked around or used the restroom.

At one point I realized there had been some sort of miscommunication. Maybe for 2 seconds I had been attracted to Paul, or rather it was in my mind "I always love foreign accents" - in that they do something for me -well more like a bonus if it turns out they are someone I like personality wise, then it's like icing on the cake - , but that was gone in two seconds, literally. I was hoping nothing would happen, but he at one point brought up "so, you have a boyfriend" - which I laughed at and commented that "why must every conversation eventually lead to that" and then of course led to the "my views on relationships" aka - see if you can make it past friends, then we see if anything happens.

So eventually he left with the promise to e-mail me while Sveta and I were dancing. By this time I realized the two french boys who had agreed to ride home with me since they were from Manhattan, were not coming back to the party as they had said they were. Luckily I had found another taker - though he did not look ready to leave any time soon. I just kept dancing :)

I was danced out and sitting down when someone else was getting ready to leave. He was going into Manhattan, but taking a cab. I had no $ and a subway card. He said he would walk me to the subway, and if we saw a taxi on the way he would cover me. We joined 2 girls in a cab, so it really didn't cost him that much and I felt better. It turned out this man was in film - director, producer, something - and said he too would e-mail me.

The other information gathered on the cab ride was how I knew Toshi - a good closer to the evening. One of the girls - who both were from Estonia - had e-mailed Toshi about an apartment. Neither of them knew him either. That was how I knew him. When I was moving to NY I had e-mailed a good deal of people about apartments. He was one of them.

So all in all an interesting evening and a good night.

A few fillers I did not mention b/c they do nothing for the story but that were interesting . . .
-while talking on the top level (not the roof) a few grapes were thrown down from the roof, one of which knocked over Sveta's champagne, lol

-while dancing everyone kept changing the songs mid-song and to completely different eras since it was all coming from a computer, like 60's to rap to Britteny Spears/Christina Aguilera, etc.

-of the 2 bathroom options, one had a window into the room (not to outside), which people unfortunately did not notice until they had sat down or they just didn't care and would turn off the lights in an attempt to not be seen, while the other one (downstairs) had a door that did not lock, or if you got the lock to work it could still open because it was a sliding door that was only attached at the top and could swing out as well as left to right.

-I met people from Russia, England, Estonia, and Toshi, or at least his family, was definitely not born in the US (not sure where, could've been Korea, Japan, China, possibly even Thailand) all in one night. It was wonderful that there was such a wide range in the company.

-Many people didn't seem to know Toshi directly. He seemed quite nice, but more of a networker than a "sit down and get to know you" type.


Last night was something I very much needed - human interaction of a different sort.

Things added to my list of what I'm looking forward to

*Seeing cabaret with two wonderful girls
*If I hear back from my brother

I'm off to do a few errands and interview a roommate tonight.

I hope everyone is well

:)~
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Comments
From: aligator13 Date: March 18th, 2003 12:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sounds like you had a good time!
From: burntwithwater Date: March 18th, 2003 08:27 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sometimes I think about just running away, dissappearing, and starting an entirely new life.
Two seconds later that thought is gone, lol. I like a good chunk of my life too much.



I defiantly know how you feel. I often get that thught too.

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