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Thoughts on caring - a world of possibility
moowazz
moowazz
Thoughts on caring
So I'm a bit confused within my head.

Where is that line between being compassionate and caring versus getting hurt and walked on.


~~~this is all opinion and my view of things, you may think differently~~~

You only get hurt or walked on when there is emotional attachment in the sense that for some reason you care what this person thinks about you so much, that you don't do things, or you do do things because of how they may look at you.

This is not a good thing. This is unhealthy emotional attachment. This is how you lose who you are.

I did this once.

I will not do this again.

Now to continue and connect these thoughts to my point.

Well, if you accept people as they are and are objective about things, no matter what people may do, in the sense, well maybe someone couldn't show up when you made plans, or they canceled plans you made in advance. (NONE of this is directed at ANYONE, it's just a general example). This tells nothing about you, it just says something about them.

But each time is something different. Maybe they had an emergency. Maybe they were scared, maybe they got lost. Whatever the reason, each time is something new and if you are in the right mindframe you just accept people as thusly, TRULY accept them and it doesn't hurt.

Yes, you may be dissappointed, but not hurt. There is a difference.

Unfortunately sometimes we do let people get close enough to where it will hurt. In this case, usually intimate relationships, I believe there is just an unsaid code that these things are not supposed to happen without explanation.

Meaning, if you choose to be let into someones feelings, if you choose to be let close, this is a responsibility. Same vice versa for the other person.

So when this happens and they don't hold up their end, and they decide that even though they thought they could, but they can't, is it possible to go back to that accepting person? Or will you get walked on?

I care deeply for every person in my life. I care deeply for people in general. Just because I don't always get hurt by them, this does not mean I don't care.

And those whom I do care for but have become emotionally close to, I will not let myself be walked on. I also am not a strong enough person to go back to that accept all person. A line was crossed that can not go back to. This does not mean I don't care, I just know I am not a strong enough person to go back.

OK, I'm not sure if any of this made sense.


And don't worry, I am actually quite well. I just seem to notice this thought was not only in my head but a few other peoples and I've been thinking of it lately especially after a forward my dad sent me.

I hope everyone is well.

:)~
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Comments
eyeboogies From: eyeboogies Date: July 7th, 2002 05:06 pm (UTC) (Link)
It's walked on when you pretty much know they'd never do the same for you unless it involved a Scrooge McDuck sized money bin.
moowazz From: moowazz Date: July 7th, 2002 09:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Thank you :)
corto From: corto Date: July 7th, 2002 07:03 pm (UTC) (Link)

!

I hear ya on the "responsibility" part of the deal.

I hope you're good for lifes sweet deals Ely... You will be as strong as you need to be to handle what lands at your feet... the alternative is to collapse. I find I set myself up for a good walking on often enough to sometimes wonder "when am I gonna learn"... but at other times I tell myself that the biggest paybacks come from the places that have the potential for the most pain. I dunno what's right but I totally support your notion that not allowing yourself to be walked on is a must... but only right up until that point where you simply throw the door open to that risk just 'cause it feels right.

peace sugar.
moowazz From: moowazz Date: July 7th, 2002 09:02 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: !

Thank you :)
onesoul From: onesoul Date: July 8th, 2002 05:09 am (UTC) (Link)
*deep sigh* This is such a huge issue for me. You sound as if things make mor sense for you. I'm going to read this over a few more times and let it sit with me. Somehow it feels very important today. Thank you.
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