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Curiosity - a world of possibility
moowazz
moowazz
Curiosity
Is me :)

This is basically just a lot of stuff all in one sitting. If you think you can handle it go ahead. It's nothing bad I believe, just stuff.

There is a quiz result to break it up along the way. :)

So

I love my family

That's a given. It's always been that way as long as I can remember.

I realize not everyone will feel this way about their family, but for me, no matter what happens or what they do I will always love them.

I'm sitting in the airport & just told my family that I'm going to sit by myself on the plane. My father commented that I didn't want to sit with them.

Well, yes, BUT it's not that I don't want to sit with them, rather that I need some time to myself, some space.

As much as I love anyone, I always need some space & time to myself to pay attention to my well being.

I mean in the last 5-6 days the only time I've had to myself was when I slept the night before we drove up to Maine, 30 minutes watchin TV in the hotel room, and during my showers.

How does this play into other relationships?

No reason, the question just crossed my mind.

I beleive it's the same. People just need time to themselves to be more, well, I'm not sure what word to use. I don't want to say stable or happy or sane because those are all relative and opinion based terms.

________________________
QUIZ INTERLUDE

Primary
Ability:


Farseeker


Farseekers posses the ability to communicate over great distances via telepathy. They are great friends who know when they're needed, and seem to be able to detect others thoughts.



Secondary
Ability:

Healer





Healers are gentle people, gifted with the ability to heal others with the strength of their own minds. They can examine a person's body and aura, helping them to recover from injury or sickness. Healers never put themselves first, and can be generous to a fault.


What
is your Misfit Talent?


END QUIZ INTERLUDE
----------------------------------------

So, for me - for I can only TRULY speak for myself -no matter what relationship I feel self time is necessary.

Now as for this weekend between all the moving inpirational speeches from the students, seeing the contradiction of their speeches & their actions the following day-a good deal, though not all the students- just general observations of people this weekend, the movie Hearts in Atlantis which showed me quite a few things including a different way of viewing parts of life, and finishing with me needing to re-group, I've learned a lot this weekend.

I re-state, well the idea, the best decisions are not always the least painful

I've found I'm a strong person. So many allow fear to consume their strength. In the end they themselves are consumed by it, no longer knowing who they are and becoming a cookie cutter person, though who is to creat the cookie cutter? Who defines it?

I want to be a paradox rather than a contradiction. The difference is this (again, as with everything, just my opinion) contradiction is those who state they want to be this great person, be it stay sober (drugs, sex, anything), and then the second they are given free will over the choice, they go and do the exact opposite. When confronted, instead of just admitting they couldn't do it or they had a change of mind, they say they still do want to do it but make excuses as to why they can't.

Being open rather than, finding solutions, rather then making excuses. I still didn't explain it very well but I hope the idea slightly makes sense. I didn't want to use any specific examples.

I believe the reason this happens, contradiction, is bein consumed by fear. Fear of what others think, fear of self, fear of whatever.

I never want to be consumed. I hope if that ever happens my friends & family will be strong enough to give me the tools to fight back and the I'm smart enough to choose to use them.

I don't think it'll ever come to that though. I believe I'll always be one of the strong ones.

OK, if any of that made sense, great. If not, maybe another time. Hopefully my laundry is done. I need sleep!!!!

I hope everyone is well.

:)~
4 comments or Leave a comment
Comments
eyeboogies From: eyeboogies Date: June 2nd, 2002 09:24 pm (UTC) (Link)
Sometimes I do think people are that scared and their whole lives are defense mechanisms...example pertinent to you, seein' as your going to NY, is peoples' attitudes there. I don't think they're ALL assholes, they have to act like that!
musus From: musus Date: June 2nd, 2002 10:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
How many New Yorkers have you talked to? Yes, there is a very cut throat atmosphere in New York City. However, New Yorkers, including those in NY City, have been known to go more than out of their way to be kind to someone. Case in point: I was lost in NY within the past 6 months. Several people, whom had absolutely no obligation to help me find my way, went so as to write down directions for me without my even prompting it. Physically speaking, NY encompasses a good chunk of land. Such a place, with such a large volume of people, is more likely to have residents with diverse backgrounds than...say, Rhode Island. Granted, some people live their whole lives in utter fear of what possibilities lay before them. To write them off though serves no purpose other than to clutter the already often overwhelming negative energy field that envelops a better part of this world. Is it just being realistic about our society? Or is our concept of reality skewed, and eating away at the very fabric that enables personal productivity? If that is the case, changes must occur on a personal level. Those efforts, like wildfire, will spread.

I apologize for the seemingly random nature of this comment. I felt it needed to be said.
eyeboogies From: eyeboogies Date: June 2nd, 2002 10:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Well I guess I should say I don't mean ALL New Yorkers. I was speaking of NYC in particular, and I know that's not necessarily all of them. But New York mentality, you have to admit, is generally more confrontational. New York can prove to be a pretty cutthroat environment and people have to defend themselves against that. That's basically the gist of what I"m thinking.
musus From: musus Date: June 2nd, 2002 09:57 pm (UTC) (Link)
I understand what you mean. In my humble opinion, however, to qualify a given character trait as only producing unfavorable outcomes, is usually not representative of how situations usually turn out. Maybe you were just over-generalizing (it's tough not to often times). In the off chance that's not the case though, I present the following scenerio:
A young man, roughly the age of 21, stands before the world searching for exactly what he, or whatever powers that be, wish his fate be. Searching for this truth, he often stumbles, not exactly knowing what he's looking for, or even if he'd recognize it, if he did find it. One thing he does know, however, is part of the person he does not want to become. He fears the possibility of becoming his father. Personally, I know it's possible to turn whatever we desire, into whatever we desire.
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